Friday, November 30, 2007

Dr. McIncest

I know this is very childish but I can't help myself. Today I ran across an article about one of the new stars on Grey's Anatomy and her, um, interesting career launch. I don't watch this show anymore but even if you have no interest in the series you might find this video humorous.

That's acting! Or, maybe it's not. Oh, the things we do for our art.

Wednesday, November 28, 2007

Bambi Taught Me Everything

It's a wonder my co-workers don't report me. We are all very odd people and our only way of getting through the day is very bizarre conversation. Today I was discussing lunch with a co-worker via e-mail and she wrote:

Subway funch? How are you feeling today?

(Note to readers, Funch is fun lunch which we usually celebrate on Wednesdays. Subway is indeed fun because we work in Queens.)
My response was:

Er uh... subway funch sounds good. What time Milady? How am I feeling? Alone and Lost... In the woods... with impending doom always over my shoulder. Stalking me. Like a hunter after a delicate fawn. Waiting for the cold piercing metal that draws death. Wow, how creepy was that? I'm going to write a Disney movie. Wait, that was Bambi.

This does not phase my co-workers any longer. Her response:

How about 12:30? And, yes, that was so creepy, and brought back horrible memories of the cute, innocent movie that ended up tricking me into witnessing a violent death - before I even knew death existed. What a cruel world.

This made me think. Yeah, all classic Disney was pretty disturbing. Snow White's step mother told a man to take her daughter to the forest, kill her, and bring back her heart in a little fancy box. 101 Dalmatians were in danger of being skinned for a coat. I could give you examples from all the old movies but now.... now it's not the same. I have no faith in the youth of today. I fear they might not be as violent as we are.

Recently the original episodes of Sesame Street were released on DVD with a warning that they are not suitable for children. Seriously? Sesame Street? I didn't get it even when it was explained why. Apparently the scary, urban, New York streets that the kids and puppets were playing in would be too much for today's average toddler. Oscar the Grouch was too Grouchy. The Cookie Monster teaches obesity by eating all those cookies not to mention all that pipe smoking. Snuffleupagus was just a hallucination of Big Bird. Most horrifying of all, they teach you how to COUNT! The next generation is going to be full of dainty little children with no early teachings of death to get them ready for the world. Well, good luck kids. I hope you learn to hack through the child proofing on your parents TV so you can catch some late night HBO. It's for your own good and the good of the country.

Tuesday, November 27, 2007

and then there was silence....

Okay, so nobody has anything to say about mind control. Alright, I'll leave that subject alone for awhile. By the way, everyone reading has the ability to comment. You can do it anonymously. I know I sound like a total whack job in most if not all of my posts but if I were completely boring you wouldn't bother stopping by.
I have no real topic for today. I just felt I should write since it's been awhile and there was a holiday and whatnot. Oh Yeah, Happy Thanksgiving. I won a lot of cash on the Riverboat Casino slot machine. Happy Holidays to me! Hey, next year let's do this for Thanksgiving.

Why is it that kids get to dress up put it is really inappropriate for adults to do it?

Wednesday, November 21, 2007

A New Hobby

I have a new interest and his name is Derren Brown. He calls himself a Mentalist, Hypnotist, and magician. I somehow ran across a mention of him in the comments on some random blog. The comment amused me so I youtubed the name and came across many clips from his UK show Trick of the Mind. Here is one of my favorites.

I chose to post this specific clip because I feel it somewhat goes along with my blog.

This Derren fellow seems to be very charming. I enjoy watching him and have great interest in the things he has studied. I'm not really a fan of magic but I would like to know more about the human mind and how things like hypnotism work. Maybe I see it as a vulnerability in myself and I would like to have a greater knowledge to protect myself. Maybe I just like odd things. What's your take on this whole thing?

Thursday, November 15, 2007


These ads are hilarious.

This is clearly supposed to be a joke making fun of how infantile the swift-boating is and other ad campaigns. The best part, of course, is the comments posted on the article linked above. Things like "Thank God some of our kids are not brainwashed by the Liberal left." and "These kids need to keep their mouths shut and worry about Sponge bob. They know nothing about politics." Granted, I fixed some of the grammar and spelling. I just can't believe people think these kids are really taking a stance. They are little actors. They know it's a joke. You really think all those kids believe Hillary Clinton is actually a man? Wow. The general public shocks me with it's idiocy in new ways every day.

Wednesday, November 14, 2007

The Pilgrims Started It

Here is a little video written by the creators of South Park that appeared in the movie Bowling for Columbine. It is a cartoon history of the U.S. dealing mostly with our "climate of fear".

I was just thinking maybe I need a gun to keep me safe from all the chickens running loose in Queens.

Tuesday, November 6, 2007

Beauty Secrets From Yours Truly

Through my complete lack of researching I have finally found the answer to looking young and beautiful. Did you know that you are just a few blended pig placentas away from the youthful skin you remember or hope to preserve? It even comes in a bottle! That's right friends. I'm cutting out carbs and throwing in a delicious placenta because, hey, animals do it! Animals also eat the intestines out of not quite dead yet creatures and you know, maybe they are on to something there as well. I've always wondered about the Placenta brand shampoo that came in jugs from CVS. I didn't understand why it was a good choice as a hair product but now I understand. You are supposed to drink it! The obvious answers are always right there in front of us and yet we never see. No, we never see.

Thursday, November 1, 2007

You'll Eat Your Kids

Introducing the musical stylings of Westboro Baptist Church

If you are not familiar with this church/cult you can find tons of information about them on you tube and google search. I think it's terrifying how easily people are brain washed. This church/cult has less then 100 members and 80% of them are related. They keep breeding and brainwashing their children to think just like them. So scary but at the same time... kind of hilarious. I thought this video was pretty damn funny. Who wrote these lyrics? How did they decide which person gets the solo?

Well anyway, they were recently sued for "protesting" at a soldiers funeral. (They believe American soldiers deaths are punishment for our nations tolerance of homosexuality.) They have been ordered to pay 11 million in compensation.

Religious extremists always blow my mind. What on earth could they be thinking? Can they possibly be that ignorant? Does it ever occur to them to question themselves? If only there was a way to help them. I'm pretty sure hatred is taught not genetically inherited so there has to be some hope but how do you teach people that they are capable of free thought?

I want to study to be a hypnotist. Maybe that can give me answers. Anyone want to join me?