Some days I’m a lot closer to killing strangers than usual. Sunday was one of those days.
I was standing outside my Cheers bar smoking a cancer stick and talking to a girlfriend. My mom was inside with my various male friends. As I stood on the empty sidewalk chatting about Brian Wilson or Heineken, or maybe it was the economic state of our country… whatever, I saw a person out of the corner of my eye walking up the sidewalk. I didn’t acknowledge them. Then I feel this short little guy completely rub his entire body against my back side as he passed me. The sidewalk was empty. He had plenty of room. This guy basically just groped me. You see, I’m tall. I was wearing a short dress. This little guy was able to rub his entire arm and chest against my ass as he passed me by. Once I realized what happened he had already run pretty far up the street. I started screaming at him calling him a f$%ing pervert. He turned around at the corner, blew me a kiss and grabbed himself. Then he ran away. It wasn’t worth it for me to chase the guy with my stiletto in hand because I would be arrested for maiming his pathetic face but damnit I was so pissed off. How often do you think that asshole gets away with shit like that? I happened to be outside with the one person in the whole bar that wasn’t able to kick his ass. I’m so disgusted.
Everybody, keep your damn hands to yourself. Unless, of course, you’ve received a request to do otherwise.