Getting Into the Spirit(s)

I'm trying to get in the spirit of the season but I feel so damn busy it just isn't working. I finally started sorting out my calendar yesterday. Holy crap I'm committed to a lot of parties and whatnot this month. Ahh! When will I find time to make the beer shower caddies I promised everyone?

Thankfully my mother already ordered the Bacon Lube my grandmother thinks we are getting her for Xmas. I don't want to disappoint.

Holiday Party Numero Uno starts tonight. I'm meeting old coworkers for our annual Winter Solstice gathering. To get myself in the proper holiday attitude I'm counting on the help of my friends. Perhaps it will help you as well. First off I shall turn to the musical styling of my handsome and disturbing friends Neil & Sky.



Share them with your friends and family!

Also, another friend of mine is apparently so obsessed with Christmas that he started a blog about it. Check out Larson's Cavalcade of Christmas. I have a feeling it will get pretty crazy over there.

If none of this works I'm going to start bringing spiked eggnog to work every day until we feel appropriately spirited at the office.

History Lessons

Today I was thinking to myself, humans are so stupid.

We all know that history repeats itself, right? So, maybe we should consider adding something to the No Child Left Behind curriculum. Maybe we should have a "How History Repeats Itself and Repetition Prevention" class (purposeful irony) in the schools.  Perhaps learning from our mistakes would help us evolve.

Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.

- Albert Einstein

Personal Notes

I hang out in bars and write to myself. I’ve been doing it for years. I carry around little notebooks or write on napkins. Then months or years later I can look back and see what a nutcase I am. Today I started looking through a little notebook. Let me share some excerpts that are in no way in any sort of order.

July 2009 at Primehouse – Cout Du Rhone

This month, for the very first time in my life, I feel old. That scares me. I don’t think I have much to show for my age. I wanted to have more to say by now. I’ve been in New York for almost eight years. I love it more intensely now than ever before. So many people tell me they want to get out of the city to own a home or take a break. I’m not shocked I haven’t burned out but I guess I sort of believed I would start feeling that way. Relationships are odd. After the things Sky said over the past few days I’m thinking he actually really cares now. I’m still careful though. I often think this might not work once I’m employed. He has a lot of things that come before me and when I’m too busy to follow him around things might go to shit. I know why I’m having such a hard time finding a job or even looking for one. I have no idea what I want to do. I’m fucked.

April 2011 at Bourbon Street – Heineken

I am endless trouble. What am I doing? I mean, I’m happy. I’m having a great time. BUT with how I am I can’t help but wonder when the shit will hit the fan and how. I really need to remember to keep being careful and not spiral downward into some dark abyss.

November (no year) at Park Bar – Shiraz

I’m thinking too much about Casey and his lack of desire to see me. I’m not sure why I care. I like to be alone but when it comes to him I worry easy. There seems to be too much making me believe it is all temporary. I know he needs to be around people but in never needs to be me.

December 2009- Primehouse Cabernet Sauvignon

 Where would that leave me? Alone in my apartment all day I guess. I wonder what is next in store for me. Maybe I should get a job at the bar. That would help me make my life utterly pointless. I’m just upsetting myself. I mean it all but it’s so damn upsetting. You Know? I’m actually scared.

January 2009 at Birdland – Cabernet

I’m seeing the Monty Alexander Trio with Casey. I love it! The clarity. The Timing. The blending. The song risk. They are very talented musicians. I feel it in my spine. The tingle that starts in the chest and moves in both directions numbing but exciting everything as it spreads.

March 2011 Bourbon Street – Heineken

Why does this keep happening? I’m a danger to others.

September 2009 Stone Creek- Dirty Martini

I know space makes me forget the pain and anger but I just can’t help feeling guilty. I think he treated me better than anyone else ever will. I’m tired. People are here now. I have to stop.

I guess I write mostly when I’m depressed. I’ve never shared any of this with anyone. I’m hoping this little purge will be to my benefit.

Love,

Knight 

I don’t fu%$ing care what you think anymore.

Everyone needs to just shut up about Occupy Wall Street.

Shut up about Paterno being a douche.

Shut up about that strange A List Dallas character that was attacked.

Shut up about Chaz Bono.

Shut up shut up shut up.

The amount of crazy ignorance that has been spewed around me within the past couple of days has made me completely hateful and hopeless for mankind.

For the love of Jeebus people. Don’t blindly follow anything. Do your research. Real research. Get Facts. Get your facts from reliable sources. Think for yourself.  

Groped

Some days I’m a lot closer to killing strangers than usual. Sunday was one of those days.

I was standing outside my Cheers bar smoking a cancer stick and talking to a girlfriend. My mom was inside with my various male friends. As I stood on the empty sidewalk chatting about Brian Wilson or Heineken, or maybe it was the economic state of our country… whatever, I saw a person out of the corner of my eye walking up the sidewalk. I didn’t acknowledge them. Then I feel this short little guy completely rub his entire body against my back side as he passed me. The sidewalk was empty. He had plenty of room. This guy basically just groped me. You see, I’m tall. I was wearing a short dress. This little guy was able to rub his entire arm and chest against my ass as he passed me by. Once I realized what happened he had already run pretty far up the street. I started screaming at him calling him a f$%ing pervert. He turned around at the corner, blew me a kiss and grabbed himself. Then he ran away. It wasn’t worth it for me to chase the guy with my stiletto in hand because I would be arrested for maiming his pathetic face but damnit I was so pissed off. How often do you think that asshole gets away with shit like that? I happened to be outside with the one person in the whole bar that wasn’t able to kick his ass. I’m so disgusted.

Everybody, keep your damn hands to yourself. Unless, of course, you’ve received a request to do otherwise. 

Vincent Price was REALLY Into Spanking

This has nothing to do with anything. I just thought you should know.

You're Welcome.

Dear Lover,

Dear Lover,

I had this terrifying dream that you were trying to wake me in the middle of the night for a little, ahem, lovin’ and when I opened my eyes I didn’t recognize you. I didn’t recognize you because apparently before waking me you decided to shave off all your hair including your beard and eyebrows. It scared the crap out of me. Please, lover, don’t shave off your eyebrows in the middle of the night. You need them. If you promise not to do anything crazy like that I shall be happy to wake whenever you want.

Xo,

Knight