Happy-ish

Seeing a show tonight at the Duplex. Isn't everyone surprised? I'm pretty sure there are other theaters in Manhattan but how come I never hear about them anymore? (Exception for Access Theater, Doodle).

Next weekend I am going to San Antonio and I can't f'n wait for warm weather! This damn rain is not enjoyable. My parents and brother are flying in so we can vacation together for the weekend. With my brother in another state and making his own living my parents are no longer parental figures. It's like we are all buddies that meet up in some city, drink, and dine. Mostly Drink. I'm happy how things have panned out for us. It's probably easier when there are only four of you and the kids move far away.

Does anyone like Sushi? I really love sushi but I don't eat it nearly enough. Last night I went to Monster Sushi which I highly recommend to anyone interested. Is anyone interested? Lets make a sushi date!

I feel crazy right now. Crazy, today, means a mix of giddy and confused with a bit of dread. Just a touch. I blame the demon. Now that I think about it, the demon causes a lot of problems. I agree Doodle and Dar, the only cure must be Vodka plus cabaret production. Does vodka go with sushi?

Release the Demons

So I was permitted to partake in some recording of standards with some lovely jazz musicians last Saturday eve. It was a total slap in the face to realize how much I have lost in the period I have gone without work or training. Very upsetting. I'm not exactly sure what I'm going to do about that yet.

Today I went to the Neurologist. He is a delightful little old man with intelligent eyes and a bow tie. I heart him. Basically we just went over my problems and my tests. According to everything I am fine but now I get to take more tests. Yay. The interesting part is that he asked me to talk to my mother about my behavior as an infant whenever I had a fever. Stuff like, did I pass out or shake. She says no but then informed me that as a toddler I would go into a sort of sleep walk state where my eyes were open but I didn't seem to be conscious of my surroundings or I thought I was somewhere else. If you want to know what I think, I think I'm possessed.

I'm all over the place!

Mentally that is. I would love to be able to write in this here blog but every time I start I get distracted and eventually delete everything I had written. I'm just going to throw out a whole bunch of info at once and maybe get some things out of my head.

Tuesday evening some of my friends had gigs on different sides of the island. Even though my strongest desire that day was to crawl into my bed and sleep in a comatose state for the next few weeks, I still went because I'm a rockstar like that.

Gig one was at the Underground Lounge on the UWS. Christopher Hartman does his singer songwriter thing and serenades his audience with mostly love related songs. He just started recording so kudos to him!

Gig two was on the LES at the Bowery Poetry Club. The Dan Loomis Quartet had a CD release show. I have been listening to the CD to get me through the work day and it's really very good. I'm not surprised though. I've always loved seeing/hearing them play. I'd do the links to each of the guys but eh, that's too much effort. Actually, they just had an audition at Jazz at Lincoln Center for some European travel thing. I'm sure you can imagine my jealousy. So, you should come support them with me at some point because they are talented and fantastic people.

I have to find an apartment. I think someone is moving into my room June 1st and I would really like to get that sorted out before it's the last minute and I'm having a heart attack. Also my birthday is June 2nd and there is no way in hell I am moving out of my six floor walk up the day before my birthday extravaganza. Yeah, that's right, I already started thinking about my birthday plans.

I am really very excited about Eyster brunch this Sunday. Drinks and merriment!

Random Things

I'm addicted to Ovaltine.

I'm pretty confident in my self diagnosis of GAD.

I've recently realized how often close friends tell me things they don't share with other people. That makes me feel amazing.

I wish I had writing abilities but I've always sucked at that sort of thing.

I'm aware that I ramble but I don't know how to stop.

Caffe Torino is a very sexy entirely gay restaurant with amazing Italian food and back patio seating.

My spell check wants Ovaltine to say ovulating. Is this a message?

I should visit a voice teacher. Singing makes me happy. Happier than an Ovaltine high.

I heart you people.

Finding Music

I went to the performing arts library Saturday. I was hoping to find sheet music for Apres Moi and Take Five. Perhaps even Perhaps, Perhaps, Perhaps. No such luck. I found a crappy learn to play piano version of the first. I found the version I already own of the second and the third was in Spanish. This trip was very unsuccessful. I have to assume that if I can't find the music then it is the universe's way of telling me not to perform it. If I ever find Love on the Rocks though, I'm recording it in a heartbeat.

After accomplishing nothing at the library I headed downtown to get a tattoo. I now have my initials branded into my ankle. All is right with the world.

Atlantic City Inspires. Who Knew?

I just got back from a quick trip to Atlantic City. It was fantastic and just what I needed right about now. The drive alone was pretty entertaining. It was just me, my friend BVA and his father. The other person bailed on us. Turns out BVA's dad is pretty cool so we had a good time listening to music and shootin the shit. They are both musicians and so we listened to jazz the entire time we were in the car. BVA recently recorded a new CD so we had the pleasure of a preview before the release. As you can tell, I was in heaven. Then we got to the casino. We stayed at Showboat which contains the House of Blues. Our room was comped because dad (Don) really knows how to work the gambling system in AC. We didn't pay for rooms, most drinks, food, and other random things. At one point they decided that we should hit the craps table. Well, I don't know how to play so Don says he will buy me in and they will teach me as we go. Great, I love learning this stuff. Crap, Craps is a fast moving game! Following their lead I finally caught on and we all made a decent amount of money. Thanks guys! Today we spent part of our winnings outlet mall shopping. I don't think I have ever in my life gone shopping with two straight men before. Wahoo new shoes! I also discovered Don's interest in shock humor which was great fun. In the end it was a pretty amazing time. I heart Atlantic City. Tomorrow I'm getting myself to the library for sheet music. If all goes well I'll also get a tattoo in the evening. Tomorrow will be good but brunch on Sunday will be amazing. I can hardly contain my excitment!

Reprimanding Myself

I've been pretending for a ridiculously long time that I am going to do a cabaret. The thing is, I have no idea why I'm not just doing it. I know what songs I want to use. I have the basic outline and idea of the show. I have the music for all but three pieces that I am considering. What in the hell is wrong with me? Why don't I just hire someone to play and get to it?
I guess I can't get it out of my head that if I fail at what I love I have nothing left to live for. That's scary. What's even more terrifying is that I can trick myself into believing that crap and therefore never even try. Anyone know a pianist?