Thursday, March 20, 2008

PFC- "Dark Ocean"


I was going to avoid it but I've gone too far. Now I'm about to do something crazy. Yep, I'm going to write you a little story. R.E.H. over at Ramblings of a Madman hosts the monthly Picture Fiction Challenge (PFC). This is the second month. I'm sure he hosts this because he is extremely talented but for some reason I decided I would pretend I could write this time and join in on the action. Here is how we play. R.E.H. does a random picture search on flickr. Then we look over the rules.

THE PICTURES:
Each picture below represents a certain aspect of the sto
ry. Analyze each picture and try to interpret what you see into the specific category the picture represents.






And with these rules I have created an absolutely insane story. Don't be afraid.

......... Dark Ocean..............

"It's Time"

She choked on the words as she jolted awake at four am Monday morning. In a whirlwind of panic she packed the necessities and ran out into the dark. The world was asleep.

"Which way?"

She spoke to herself but she was calling out to the universe for a sign. The silence swarmed in around her. White noise made her feel utterly alone on the dark empty street. She was confused and scared. Her eyes started to water and everything around her seemed to spin. There was no time for this. Not now. She focused on one object until everything was distinct and clear again.

Roaring in the distance. That was it. The sound of ocean waves hitting up against the sand. So she ran hard and fast with a cramp in her side trying to cripple her.

"I know what you are doing and it won't work."

She blamed all the stalling and confusion on an outside source without a name. Something she had been battling against for a long time. Tonight would be the final fight.

When she hit the sand she could hardly breath. Salty tears covered her face. Without thinking she took off her heavy coat and began unpacking her things. First was the camera. She wanted whatever happened to be documented. There had to be proof. So she set up the tripod and adjusted the camera to face the ocean.

"What now? Do I wait?"

Again, calling out to nothing. She was certain the answers would come. Sitting in the sand she stared at the water. Seconds slowly ticking by. Each one an eternity. Her heart was racing. She didn't even realize she was freezing. As the cold took over her body her anxiety was getting worse. It wouldn't be dark much longer. The sound of the ocean became distorted in her mind. It turned back into the distant roaring she had heard on the street. The roaring of an animal. A large animal. A tiger. The tiger trapped in the ocean. How could it be trapped in the ocean? On a boat? A raft? How did it get out there?

"It's lost in the dark."

Her mind jumbling up excuses and trying to explain what she was hearing lost all reason completely. In her internal struggle she had decided to save the Tiger from the dark water. From the impending doom that came with the sun. She started screaming out to the ocean. Staring at the darkness.

"Wait, the camera."

Running back to turn on the flash and set the timer she suddenly devised a plan.

"Bait!"

She could lure the tiger out of the water with food. If she had food. She collapsed next to her bag and started digging. A cup, batteries, hairspray, candle, candy. Yes, m&m's would be perfect. She tore the bag open with her teeth and dumped them in the cup. Calling out to what she now imagined to be a helpless kitten floating in the water. She mewed and held out the cup towards the black vast darkness.

"Here kitty kitty."

Nothing.
She walked closer.
Mindlessly she entered the icy water and scattered the candies to attract the cat.
She couldn't leave. This had to be done.

On Monday afternoon a young man was thumbing through the photographs he had just developed at the one hour shop. He had found a camera during his morning run and hoped to find the owner. The first several photos were of the empty beach at night. Then a young woman was in the shot. She looked a mess with red puffy eyes, tangled hair, and a runny nose. In the last photo the woman was in the ocean waist deep in the middle of winter. That was it. Nothing more.


**********************

16 comments:

R.E.H. said...

Now, why did you hesitate to post this one? It was great.

I really loved the ending there, which was what made it all come together in a way.

You had a nice descriptive flow in your writing. I'm so glad you decided to play!

Jo said...

It's good you decided to participate! It was great the way the story just took off from the get-go, spooky with a rapid pace, I enjoyed that...so many unknowns & suspense, then the quiet clincher at the end. Good show, I hope you keep playing.

Jill said...

Have a little trust into your writting abilities! this was beautiful. The ending is sad, because I thought there was still hope when she hear the tiger...

Jay said...

That was great! I agree with Jo. Excellent pace. Everything moving quickly which helped create the suspense. Love the ending too. No pics of the tiger. Just the woman in the water. Never to be seen again.

Dianne said...

It was great, never hesitate to post a creation. I loved the pace too, I found myself reading faster and faster.

I really loved the image of the woman scattering the candies to the ocean.

and the ending was perfect!

Farmer*swife said...

You did FAN-tabulous! Way to go! But, I have to read again to decide if her dreams took her there, sleep deprivation, sleep walking, or suicide? Due to mental deviations?

I'm really sleepy but waitin' out the you know what.

I'm gonna' read again. But, even at first read you did great! How fun! Didn't you enjoy it?

Obviously, you still have me wondering. Oh, photos developed at the end? Camera found? Nice touch!

Raven said...

Great job... you take us (well you took me) into her confusion and pull us (well me) along. And the ending was perfect... and sad.

Newt said...

That was a rush. A high speed, heart pounding rush. Very cool. And I am very glad you posted this. I am always amazed at how very very different everyone's story is. You did a fantastic job!The end was simply brilliant. And now I am left crazy wondering.

GMEyster said...

I LOVE THIS! What a beautiful, tragic tale :o)

Knight said...

Thanks so much guys. I feel better about posting it now. I hesitate to participate in a writing challenge when I am most certainly not a writer but when I had the story happening in my head I really wanted to share it.

Dana said...

You did a great job! That first PFC is really difficult to put out there as there seems to be a great deal of vulnerability attached to exposing one's writing. I thoroughly enjoyed your story and look forward to the next!

Single In The City said...

YOU GO SISTA GIRL!!!

I loved this. I will be in the next challenge, I had 3 pic done this time, but threw it out since I was living it up on spring break!

I enjoyed this!

A. said...

Brilliant.

A. said...

Brilliant.

Emmeline said...

I'm glad you played this month! I love the ending. I love that we don't know what happened to her . . . if she is just crazy or if she drowned, or the tigers ate her . . . I love it. GREAT job!

Em

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