Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Demons and Parties

The Demon stopped in to say hello Sunday morning. I have no idea what time it was but I sat up in bed and started saying something along the lines of "Oh My God, Oh My God, Oh My God!" before the seizure hit and I fell off my bed to the floor. I don't remember a whole lot about this one. When I woke up I felt very panicked and I had to ask Sky (that would be the new boyfriend) if something happened. Then I cried. I was really thankful I wasn't alone this time. It's so much easier. For some reason I didn't feel all that horrible yesterday but holy crap today is painful. Every muscle seems to be pissed off at me. It's the sort of pain that any position you are in for more than five minutes makes you wish you had heavy duty drugs. Maybe it is always that way and I just don't remember because it's been six months since the last experience.

Let's switch to an upbeat subject shall we? A week from today (JUNE 2nd) I will be turning 26. I'm planning to have my party on Sunday in Central Park so hopefully it doesn't rain. It will be really nice to get all my friends together and enjoy the company. I fell like I don't see any of them nearly enough. Hey, want to come help me celebrate? I would love to see you too.

It's time to go back to bed now.

Friday, May 22, 2009

What can I say?

I've really missed you all. I miss having this outlet. I know some people read without commenting but I'm talking about the actual friends I have made through blogging. Sometimes I think you all know more about me than anyone else. So I'm sure you are wondering where I have been. The truth is, nowhere. I just can't find reason to write. You know what I mean. I know you do. We have all hit that wall at some point. For the record I am taking suggestions if you want to give me some.

Being unemployed is harder than I thought it would be. I don't feel the kind of stress I had at my last job anymore and I'm so thankful for that but even still I'm really scared. I feel like the choices I make now I have to live with for the rest of my life. I am terrified of going into another corporate job that makes me hate myself. I have not talked about the job hunt process with anyone in my life and I don't intend to. I'm noticing about myself that I tend to be a very private person but only in very obscure ways. I always thought I was more open than most but I must have been wrong. Oh well. We are always learning something new, right?

I guess I'm mostly dropping in to say hello and I am alive. I have not given up on blogging. I will be back. I have also been reading everybody's posts as much as possible but I don't comment much so I apologize for that. I'll try working on it.

Apologies all around.
Much Love.
- Knight