Wednesday, October 31, 2007

Happy All-hallows Eve Darlings!

Lets celebrate like the Druids did. We can build bonfires and wear dead animals! Or, we could go to a burlesque show and watch the Parodivas light candles and wear fur! Either one sounds perfect for the holiday. I'm currently at work in my costume that wasn't supposed to be a costume. I wore red and black to work and it just happened to look a little evil so drawing red devil horns and taping them to my headband seemed only natural.

I wish someone would tell me a good ghost story right now. That is what I need. Something haunting. Anything to make me forget I'm at the office. It would be amazing if I could turn on a scary movie while I filled out spreadsheets. One of my co-workers decorated his office so it looks like blood is dripping down the walls. Is it odd that I'm jealous?

Robert Goulet died yesterday. He needed a lung transplant but couldn't get one in time. I don't think enough people are donors. Goulet, if I died within the past couple weeks I would love nothing more than to give you my lungs. They work okay but might be a little small and girly for you. Goulet! Go to you tube and watch some of his stuff. In his younger days he was a really gorgeous man. Not that he wasn't yesterday but in his youth... *wiping away drool* oh yeah.

Back to the Holiday. I want to have a late night picnic in the park with candles and wine but I'm afraid the rats will give me diseases. Ghosts are funny. Rodents are not.

Well, have a good day kids. Try not to get poisoned.
Stabs and Bites!

Monday, October 29, 2007


I wish I knew more about the British TV comedy series "Jeeves & Wooster". Mostly because I heart Hugh Laurie. Now let's listen in on him singing Nagasaki all clean shaven. *swoon*

Jazz and Hugh. I'm in love.

Thursday, October 25, 2007

Holiday Memories

I'm starting to get into the Halloween spirit today. Probably somewhat because it's a little dark out and the city skyline is looking rather gloomy out the office windows. Perfect.
Halloween has always been my favorite holiday. Not every year works out to be an amazing adventure of course but in general it's a fairly thrilling holiday. Last year I went to a very wild party in Jersey dressed as Patsy from AbFab. My friend and partner in crime came as Edina.

That would make me the character on the right. It was glorious.

I remember as a child I had a knack for telling terrifying stories. I would tell them to the other latchkey kids after school. What a jerk I was but I think they sort of loved it. We had nothing better to do then traumatize each other for life. That's how kids are. Come to think of it, I remember having a similar evening in college. Guess I don't grow out of things too easily.

Some of my favorite costumes over the years include my drugged up Marilyn complete with my own bottle of vodka and pills. For the record, making a bottle of vodka part of your costume is a bad idea if you don't intend to drink the whole thing. I also enjoy the time I was Satan which I understand doesn't sound very original but it was really just an extension of my own evil personality. I had my hair teased as big as possible and my skin was covered in Satan like scrawlings including 666 and negative Bible verse. It was probably really inappropriate. Yep, it definitely was. In high school my junior and senior year I threw a party with a couple other friends. We went all out decorating this huge house for two full days. A couple hundred people came the first year. We didn't expect that kind of turnout at all. It was fantastic!

This year I don't know. I'm seeing the Parodivas on Halloween so I don't need to dress up for that. I have two other costume parties that I don't know if I will attend or not. Spirits have been low this year. My original idea of being Pat Benetar isn't panning out and I have switched to this glorious idea of David Bowie (Ziggy Stardust era). Wouldn't that be fantastic? If I don't dress up this year I vow to do it next.

Happy Haunting Freaks!

Tuesday, October 23, 2007

I can't help it.

Nothing like dwelling on a topic right? Just wanted to remind you how gross birds are.

Tuesday, October 16, 2007

Birds. Oh my God, Birds.

I got off the subway stop in queens today and had just turned the corner in the direction of my office when the most horrifying thing happened. A chicken stood in the middle of the sidewalk facing me. A huge disgusting Chicken! I think I probably screamed out loud. Everyone else walking around glanced at it but didn't think much of it. Hello people? There is a freakin' chicken in the sidewalk!!! I didn't want to get near it. The thing was in an angry panic and was running around surprisingly fast. I was in the street trying to stay as far away as possible and get to work. Then I watched the thing strut on into a bakery. All the people inside looked down at it but didn't seem very surprised. A chicken just walked into the bakery! Then someone must have kicked it or something cause it went speeding across the street bawking. Unfortunately it was not run over. At this point I'm basically running to the office but not letting the thing out of my sight. I can not believe that the people in Queens don't find this odd. This is an omen. I should not be traveling to this dangerous borough to work anymore. It's far too dangerous to have standoffs with birds just so I can get to my desk. It's a nightmare.

Thursday, October 4, 2007

Just talkin' bout shit.

Raise your hand if you feel like this

I do...

I don't know what is going on but this week I feel like the walking dead. Not ill or anything but constantly tired. I believe the word many would use is "pooped" (I will never, ever use this word in person). Even though my body could fall asleep standing I just can't seem to turn off my mind. It's so annoying to want to fall asleep but it feels like your thoughts won't slow down. I know you can relate.

Hmm... other things. What other things do I want to bring up? I really enjoy the show The View now that Whoopi is on it. I like how she handles that crazy Elizabeth nut job. They spoke about abortion briefly yesterday and I realized I agree with almost everything Whoopi says. Not just in that situation but regarding a lot of things and to be honest, this surprised me. I'm shocked I even like the show at all since it's a bunch of old women bickering over each other but I do enjoy the extremes of how they each see things. It makes every topic a little more interesting. Plus, with all the commercial breaks it's really only 20 minutes of show within the hour and I'm able to skip the other crap.

Hey, if you are reading this you obviously have a lot of time to kill. Why don't you start wasting large amounts of time HERE?
When you click on the link the games are on the left side. I suggest starting with Grow Cube. It's sort of a game but mostly a big puzzle that gets you so invested in solving it you will waste hours of your life. Enjoy!!!

Tuesday, October 2, 2007

Impending Doom

I have that sort of feeling today. Makes you shaky. Thankfully I'm usually wrong about this and have zero prophetic abilities. Maybe it's just the "October feeling".

Yesterday I joined a gym and I am very excited about it. I forgot that I actually like them. Of course I will enjoy running more if you put me in front of a TV. Suddenly you feel productive. It's been a long time since I enjoyed a sauna as well. I checked out a few gyms in the process and noticed that the more expensive places had locker rooms full of naked people and the cheaper I didn't even see a sports bra. Odd.