Today is a day. Another day like all the rest. A confusing day. A day of intense emotions
splitting me into a million little pieces. Causing great anxiety. Forcing me to
face the future. Forcing me to acknowledge the inevitable. Forcing me to
realize that all things change. Nothing lasts.
How is it possible to feel crushed and empowered at the same
time?
How is it possible to feel the death and birth of love at
the same time?
I think I mourn the loss of relationships with people far
too much for my own good. It harms me physically. This can’t be normal. Can it?
Is it? How did I develop this? It makes
me apprehensive of new people. Actually, I’m great at meeting new people but it
makes me fearful when feelings start to develop. When they become important to me they are a
danger to me.
Well, what can I do but continue living and taking the joy
where I can when it’s available?
Such is life.
6 comments:
Does this mean you want to call off our engagement?
I'm crushed... I thought things were going so well... ;P
"The more that things change, the more they stay the same."
Intense emotions are exhausting.
maybe it has to do with why you mourn them. if it's the missing, yes, it sucks. but if they were worthwhile, they give you something. hopefully not chlamydia. hopefully more reflected knowledge of yourself. if it's anything else, fuck, you're lava. rocks, projections, things that they throw at you and block your flow, try to contain you or define you, simply don't. because rock vs lava, fuck rock. side note: when you play rock, paper, scissors, always use lava.
reich said a mouthful, so be the lava. Consider, if your friends are not supporting you and helping you grow, they are dragging you down and not friends.
Just remember that lava is how most islands are formed.
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