Friday, January 4, 2013

Talking to Myself

I'm sitting here in the dark, as often people do, thinking about everything I'm doing wrong. I'm not living up to , well, anything to be honest. I don't think it's the whole New Year resolution shit because I've had this feeling growing for awhile. It has been slowly creeping in on me and causing that wild range of emotions that finally hits total depression and then feeds on it for awhile. It's familiar.

I ended up here to write in an attempt to release some of the pressure from my mind. I suppose, I'm feeling very alone right now. I'm surrounded by people but nobody I can talk to. Perhaps I could talk to them. Yes, that's probably true. I suppose I do have people in my life that I could reach out to just to talk things through but I can't do that. Everyone has their load to bare, their life to live, and this is the time of year when things always seem to fall apart for everyone. I want to be a supporter, not a victim.

It's more than that though. I don't reach out because I'm aware I don't really want life advice or pity. I just want to be able to vocalize my worries without judgment or suggestions of what I should be doing to change things. I realize that is selfish. That is what a therapist is for. I should be paying someone for that. Well, I can't afford that luxury. I will just have to talk to myself for now.

I have decided to post this because it occurred to me that perhaps other people have felt this way as well. If that's true, you aren't alone.


9 comments:

Dana said...

Yes ... other people have ... {{{HUGS}}}

fiwa said...

You are not alone. Sending my love.

Mike said...

I'm sure if you sent Jay a plane ticket he would be there in a flash to sleep on your floor and may sure you had someone to talk to.

I'm With Stupid said...

I'm right there with ya babe. I know exactly what you mean.

My number is on my Facebook page. I'm always available.

Jay

Reb said...

such a familiar tune! I don't share, simply because I don't share, at least not things that matter to me.

LL said...

Is it because you didn't come out here and marry me yet? Because you know we can fix that... :P

Good to hear from ya again, not a good subject to hear, but good nevertheless.

Karen (formerly kcinnova) said...

I have one friend who I can get together with and just vent -- no advice, no suggestions unless I ask for them. We do a lot of nodding in agreement.
And then we move on to something completely different, like a fun movie to watch together.
I wouldn't want to pay a therapist.

Portable Concrete Plant said...
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Knight said...

I want to say thank you to everyone who responded at the time. It helped me immensely but I was still in a place that kept me from saying anything.