Monday, July 21, 2008

Blame My Bloodline

Long time readers and actual friends of mine may or may not have noticed that I'm a little odd. I blame my family.

My dad has been sending me links to a lot of videos this past week. Some how I inherited his very odd sense of humor. It says a lot about how I turned out this way. The two I received yesterday were:

Almost learn about the history of one of Washington's favorite slaves from a really drunk chick.


Awesome performance done by a guy that will "Never Get Ahead". The backup dancers are the best part.

That was my dad's contribution to my life in the last couple of days. My mother is out of town so I assume he hasn't put on pants and is drinking wine out of the bottle while he surfs the net and watches the Independent Film channel. My dad rocks.

My mom took my grandmother to see a show in Chicago for her birthday this weekend. My aunt flew in and my brother lives in Chicago so they are all having a big party without me. I called yesterday to wish my grandma a happy birthday and see what I was missing out on. It sounded like they were having a good time. They were drinking by 11am so I'm sure it was an interesting day. Around 10pm Chicago time I got a picture text from my mom. I thought it might be of my brother's dog or someone drinking something. Instead to my complete and utter shock I opened a photo of my grandmother ................topless! How much did they drink? Of course I immediately call my mom to ask why she would do such a cruel thing. She is cracking up when she answers the phone and honestly, so am I. I can hear grandma in the background, "I'm so damn tired I don't care if she posts it up at work."
So I did.
No, I didn't. That would be mean. I have to say though, she has nice boobs for a 74 year old. I'm glad I'm in that bloodline. *Sigh* I hate missing out on a good party. Happy birthday Grandma!

So as you can see, I'm crazy because my family made me that way.


Mike said...

Yea, your dad is a smart man.

Pants suck. I'm pantless as much as possible.

I basically put on pants when I have to leave my house. When I get back home, my pants come off again.

What I'm saying is I run a pants optional house, and everybody is invited.

Also, I have a stocked liquor cabinet.

I'm just sayin.

GMEyster said...

Totally made my day with that story. Your mom is a hoot - good to know that continues on into the rest of your family.

Topless Grandma - whooo hooo!

Dana said...

Next time the family is in Chicago you should join them, and I'll join you *gigglesnort*

Jay said...

Those videos were hilarious and I want to party with your family.

You know there are two kinds of crazy. Crazy scary and crazy cool. You're crazy cool, so it's okay. ;-)

Darla said...

My Grandma would never do that! Dammit! I mean, I guess I'm actually ok with that.

Tink said...

Bwahahahaha! I'm passing that first video on to everyone I know. Too funny *hic*.

Real Live Lesbian said...

LOVED the videos! I thought *I* was white until I saw the backup singer in the pasty blue sundress. I'm freakin' tropical compared to her!

What a great I kinda wanna see your Grandma's boobs! LOL Is that bad?

Anonymous said...

HAHA!! sis I loved it! Your family is a hoot!! I wish I was there with them!

Yes I blame a lot of the things I do on my bloodline!!

glad you came by today! I missed my 007!!!


Matt-Man said...

Sweet. I wanna party with your family. Tell your Dad I'll bring some WIR. Cheers Knight!!

cat said...

I Laughed so hard I had coffee coming out my nose and spat it all over my computer screen.

Sistagirl, you all are crazzee! with a ze.

Humor is the best thing in life. When I met someone new, that's the first thing I notice is their sense of humor and teeth and uhm eyes and hands, well o.k. it's not the very first, but it's up there.

furiousBall said...

topless granny?

reminds me of this

Reb said...

Those videos are funny! it sounds like you have quite the family there!

gary rith said...

sounds like QUITE the family alright...

Freakazojd said...

That sounds like quite the AWESOME family to me!! :) Fun fun!! Happy birthday to your fantastic grandma!

The Mountain Cat said...

Vlogs! Vlogs! We want Vlogs! And you must curse like the Osbourne kids to increase ratings.

jack mehoff said...

your family fuckin rules! toppless grandmas, drunk mom and dad - hilarious - why the hell didnt you go?