Tuesday, January 3, 2012

Grandma Knight

Grandma Knight passed away in the early hours of last Saturday morning. She had a heart attack and was taken to the hospital on Christmas day. I feel lucky that I was in my hometown at the time and able to visit her in the hospital before and after her angiogram. On my last visit before heading back to New York I thought she seemed just as lovely and ornery as ever so I wasn’t worried. We had the chance to say I love you one last time.

They held her funeral this morning. I feel terribly guilty that I’m not able to be there to support my family and pay my respects. My mom called me a half hour ago to tell me how great her hair looked with pearl combs just as she would have wanted. She was known for her hair and very proud of it. Mom told me how well everything went and that my dad and grandfather seem to be doing well. My poor father happened to be witness to the heart attack at the nursing home on Friday night that eventually led to her passing. He had to make the decisions. That must have been so awful for him.

My Grandfather is 93 years old. He was a WWII pilot that was shot out of the sky and became a POW. Somehow he lived to be the strongest 93 year old I’ve ever seen. Watching him at the hospital after my grandmother’s angiogram was one of the most heartbreaking moments I have ever witnessed. He told me he stayed up the entire night prior rubbing her back and trying to ease the pain. He couldn’t stand to see her like that. It was pure dedication and love for a person you spent the last 64 years by the side of.

So I sit here at work thinking about my family all together talking about my grandmother and how wonderful she was to all of us. I’m lucky to have such a fantastic and loving family. Sure some of them are crazy but so am I. It’s still in a loving way. Grandma was so supportive of every one of her six grandkids. We were all busy with various activities. All the boys participated at every sport available to them. I was the little singer in the family and grandma swears I got that from her. They were not only at every game/ performance/ recital possible but they also took us to practice whenever needed. I remember when I was little they lived in a house very near ours. We were dropped off before school and every morning she would make us coco with marshmallows and peanut butter toast. They were drowning in pictures of all of us. Grandma was convinced that every last one of her offspring was gorgeous. We are by the way ;)  Just like her.

I have no idea how old I was but at some point when I was still very young I had a raspberry colored pea coat. From then on I was her Raspberry Princess. Nicknames stuck for a lifetime with that side of my family. Don’t you dare call me that though. Only Grandma Knight had that privilege.

Last year for my mother’s 49th birthday my Grandmother on my mom’s side of the family decided to throw her a party and as entertainment flew me in to sing for a few hours. I know it was partly because she didn’t think my other grandparents would have many other chances to ever hear me again. I have to remember to thank her again for that. I know it meant a lot to them because my Grandma was so proud of me and I felt so guilty for never recording something to send her. 

I wish I could be with them.

I’m thinking of you Grandma. Thank you for everything.

17 comments:

Joshua said...

I'm so sorry, Knight. I'm really glad you were able to see her. Take care.

Farmer*swife a/k/a Glass_Half_Full said...

Awww, Knight. I'm sorry for your loss. What a great tribute to her. I can tell from your post that she was a wonderful woman full of love. *Hugs*

Moooooog35 said...

Sorry for your loss, beautiful. She sounds pretty awesome.

Jay Simser said...

The tears came to my eyes as I read your beautiful tribute to your Grandma Knight. What a beautiful picture. You can see the love shining all through it. I was in the next room, a freshman in college 50+ years ago when my grandmother had a heart attack and died. I know know that it was a beautiful thing to go that way and that quickly. I watched my grandfather mourn for her for the next 10 years as he slowly, slowly slipped away. At the time of my mother's passing I found this which I used in the tribute which I wrote for her. I could never have gotten through reading it. I hope it will bring you comfort.

"Something has spoken to me in the night,
Burning the tapers of the waning year;
Something has spoken in the night,
And told me I shall die, I know not where.

Saying:
"To lose the earth you know, for greater knowing;
To lose the life you have, for greater life;
To leave the friends you loved, for greater loving;
To find a land more kind than home, more larger than earth-

"Whereon the pillars of this earth are founded,
Toward which the conscience of the world is tending-
A wind is rising, and the rivers flow."

You Can't Go Home Again
Thomas Wolfe wrote it. I try to live it. I firmly believe that death s door which we will (all) pass to a new and glorious existence and will be reunited in spirit with those who have gone before. - Always know that the love you shared with her will never die and will remain with you in your Mind forever. Hugs, j

fiwa said...

What a beautiful lady - I love your post about her. I'm so sorry, Knight, but I'm glad you got to see her again. I'll be thinking of you and your family, especially your Grandpa. Love - fiwa

jack mehoff said...

i've had the unfortunate experience of sending out two "sorry about your loss" cards this past week and a coworker is in critical cond from a brain aneurysm.....and now this.

take care of yourselves people. lifes shorter thank you think.

jack mehoff said...

* than * you think

i cant type

LL said...

*bighug*

Reverend Awesome said...

I'm so sorry. (Her hair really is beautiful! Wow.)
Glad you got to say I love you and see her at her ornery best.

spokalulu said...

Knight, I'm so sorry for your loss. It's hard to say goodbye to someone we love, and it's hard to realize we will never have that chance again.

I'm glad you have such sweet memories. I suggest that you write a letter to your grandfather, sharing those memories of spending time at their house. It would be a huge gift to him, and the writing of it will help you, too. It's important to find ways to say goodbye when you couldn't be there for the funeral service.
(I didn't get to attend any of my grandparents' services.)

I'm With Stupid said...

Very sorry about your loss. Beautiful post. RIP Grandma Knight

Addman said...

I'm sorry to hear about this. She sounds like a wonderful woman, and your grandad sounds like one devoted guy. I hope things get back to normal soon for you.

Gary's third pottery blog said...

64 years together, oh my! Gosh Knight, so sorry...

Micky-T said...

Sorry to hear about your grandmother.

Reb said...

What a beautiful post. I am sorry for your loss Knight, but, glad you were able to see her one more time.

Mike said...

RIP Grandma Knight.

Knight said...

I'm sorry I didn't individually thank all of you but your comments have really meant a lot to me and I appreciate it.

Jay,that was beautiful and tears me up each time I read it. Thank you.

Thank you all.