Am I Okay?

Last night I kissed my date goodnight on the steps to my building. Feeling a little fluttery with that sort of giddy feeling inside I took the elevator to my apartment. I grabbed my doorknob and a business card tucked inside fell to my feet. "Police Department City of New York Special Victims Squad Manhattan" It all comes rushing back.

A month ago I woke up naked in the back of a cab surrounded by cops asking where my clothes were.  I didn't know. I didn't know where I was, how I got there, what time it was, or if I was okay. The cops asked questions while we waited for an ambulance. I could remember what I had done earlier that evening and what I was wearing. Then the next thing I remember is that I was standing in the street and a guy was trying to kiss my face and telling me not to go. I ran for a cab. The cab driver thought I was crazy and wanted me to get out but I refused and rambled something about needing to get away. He drove a few blocks and the next thing I know cops are asking questions.

So I took the ambulance to the hospital and slowly started regaining full clarity. My doctor and counselor were wonderful and kept me calm. Everyone assumed I had been drugged and attacked. They started testing me for everything and administering a rape kit. It was 1:30 in the morning when everything happened and something wasn't adding up.  The last thing I remembered was hanging out at my local pub where there weren't a lot of people. I was talking to a friend and I knew the bartender. I only had a couple drinks and then went home. I was fine.

The officer helping me in the cab showed up at the hospital with the clothes I had been wearing. He was very happy to tell me that they broke into my apartment and my clothes were on the floor. Everything appeared to be normal so he brought my clothes, phone, keys, and purse to the hospital and that was it. They talked to the bartender and it appeared I had left and gone directly home before 11. Two and a half hours were missing.  The tests didn't show any drugs or anything that indicated I had been hurt. I was released from the hospital at 8am.

It's a strange experience to walk in your front door with no memory of leaving and knowing the cops were the last people inside. My TV and fan were on. All the lights were on. My lunch takeout from the previous day was gone but the container and fork were on the table. It was pretty obvious that I had been home the night before and did my usual routine of stripping out of all my clothes, having a little dinner while watching TV, and probably passed out.  Suddenly other memories come back.  I once woke up standing in the hall outside of my apartment and because the door locks behind me, I had to pound on the door of my super for the key. I once woke up at my old apartment knocking on my own door and my ex Sky opened it. "BABY! What are you doing outside?" Am I a sleepwalker? 

Since the incident I've talked to detectives, counselors, several police officers, several doctors. What we believe happened is that I probably had a seizure or due to my neurological issues started sleepwalking and wandered my way down the elevator, outside of my apartment, and down the avenue several blocks. The thing that triggered me to start waking up was a man trying to take advantage of a naked woman in the street that he probably assumed was on drugs. When he made contact by trying to kiss my face while putting his penis in my hand, I realized the danger and ran for a cab. It could have been so much worse.

I still can't believe this happened.

I'm okay.