Tuesday, October 16, 2007

Birds. Oh my God, Birds.


I got off the subway stop in queens today and had just turned the corner in the direction of my office when the most horrifying thing happened. A chicken stood in the middle of the sidewalk facing me. A huge disgusting Chicken! I think I probably screamed out loud. Everyone else walking around glanced at it but didn't think much of it. Hello people? There is a freakin' chicken in the sidewalk!!! I didn't want to get near it. The thing was in an angry panic and was running around surprisingly fast. I was in the street trying to stay as far away as possible and get to work. Then I watched the thing strut on into a bakery. All the people inside looked down at it but didn't seem very surprised. A chicken just walked into the bakery! Then someone must have kicked it or something cause it went speeding across the street bawking. Unfortunately it was not run over. At this point I'm basically running to the office but not letting the thing out of my sight. I can not believe that the people in Queens don't find this odd. This is an omen. I should not be traveling to this dangerous borough to work anymore. It's far too dangerous to have standoffs with birds just so I can get to my desk. It's a nightmare.

5 comments:

GMEyster said...

Oh. My. Gotto. I am still laughing.

Get out of Queens! Out! OUT! Now, before it is too late!!!!

ps. did I ever tell you that my first job was selling eggs from our chickens on my bike?

JasonBSchmidt said...

That sounds like the dream sequence from the first pilot episode of the sitcom I wrote about you (in my head).

Carly said...

Ha... that is a scary job Gwen. What if you fell? Did any lost or damaged eggs come out of your allowance? Evil fragile eggs!

That is perfect Jason! Wish it would have stayed a dream.

A Day in the Life of a Touring Ed. Theatre Actress said...

Mmm chicken

GMEyster said...

Sometime I have to tell you the story of the time my dad tried to teach me a lesson about doing my chores before dark. Many, MANY broken eggs as a result.