Monday, March 24, 2008

Beauty Queen

My grandmother put me in a beauty pageant when I was in the seventh grade. I was nervous about the pageant part but I liked performing and I would get to do a song of my choice on stage as well as buy new clothes. Let me tell you, pageants were not for me. I remember going to the rehearsals in a garage where they would ask us questions and tell us how to sit properly. (You can't cross your legs. You must cross your ankles and sit up at the edge of the seat.) Some of the other girls kept trying to talk to me but I found them all so creepy I didn't want to know them. They basically just ran us through the line up of the show a few times when we had rehearsals and then bam it was time for the show.

I don't think I looked much like a pageant girl. My grandmother did my hair and makeup all the time when I was little. I loved it. But I never looked like a drag queen and I never did big hair. I looked normal.

We went into an interview where I refused to answer the way I knew they wanted me too. I remember one question exactly. "What animal are you most like and why?" Obviously the panel was very deep. I remember answering that it would have to be a monkey because I'm a fun person who likes to play around and enjoy myself. I failed the interview.

The show opened with the contestants doing a little dance and then it was the casual wear section where we each came out and modeled an outfit of our choice. I wore bell bottoms with a few big flower patches. Thankfully my parents let me do what I wanted or I might have come out in business attire like some of the other creepy girls.

Next we did our performances. I can only remember a couple routines. Some girl did a tap dance. Another did a gymnastics routine on a hobby horse her dad made. I came out in a Victoria's Secret blue silk slip and sang "I Feel Pretty" while sitting on a white fur bench in front of a vanity. I want to remind you I was twelve.

Then we modeled our evening wear which was a dress and heels I couldn't walk in. After all this crap they finally get to announcing the winner and handing out the trophies. Trophies? I thought you got crowns. Whatever, I didn't care. So who wins? The chick doing gymnastics on the hobby horse. But I was awarded "Best Talent" and walked away with my trophy.

That was the one and only time I have been to a pageant. It was not for me. I did start performing at every venue in the area. I wore a hippie outfit and sang "Frank Mills" at every mall and fair in the city. Now THAT was a good time.

Found something exciting on Etsy today. Look HERE. Scary right? People come up with some interesting things.


The Mountain Cat said...

awww Little Miss Sunshine :O)

Jay said...

I really want you to post a video of you singing. That would be great.

Those beauty pageants really creep me out. It's soooo sad.

That Etsy .. NO. WAY.

BBC said...

When I was young I was very shy and pretty much a loner and I spent a lot of time alone wandering around in the mountains.

And I'm not at all sorry about that.

Knight said...

Mountain Cat- I wish! That kids act was amazing.

Jay- I'll think about posting a video. Good idea. You bought the Etsy thing right?

BBC- Why on earth would you be sorry about that? You learn more wandering mountains than you do from children practicing sitting in a garage.

captain corky said...

So that's how you became best friend's with Tiffany.

That pendant is so bizarre that I want it!

Tink said...

A womb pendant?!

I think you and I should start a blog called, "Etsy, WTF?" and post all these weird finds.

Btw, you wouldn't happen to have pictures of you in this pageant, would you? Because that's the ONLY thing that would make this post better. :D

R.E.H. said...

I'm with Tink on the pictures! And, I think it's an outrage you didn't win... it must've been rigged for that phony pony riding girl ;)

That Etsy thing was weird, though...

GMEyster said...

See that girl, watch that scene...diggit, the *beauty* queen...

Anonymous said...

LOL @ Vin I heart Lil Miss Sunshine!!!

I bet you were the bomb! I did it one year not to much long ago and lets just say, I LOVED IT!!! but at the same time It was not me either.

No days they go go ape wild and force their kids to do it! I Love Victoria's secret!


Farmer*swife said...

Your so funny! Great story. I bet you were super cute in the pageant.

And, look at you now. All tall, and lean, and pretty and cute and all [a Gal can comment on another Gal, y'all].

I agree with tink. I would love to see a picture of you from that!!!

Later Gal!