Thursday, April 7, 2011

The Gutter


My mind is wasted. I mean, I think it might be drunk. Or perhaps I just have ADD. I have been having a major problem with distraction in every single part of my day and I’ve got to be honest with you, most of the time my mind is in the gutter. Am I the only person with this problem? I can’t possibly be.

While I’m at work I go through my tasks of the morning and chat with my coworkers while brewing a pot of coffee. I try to work quickly and efficiently but as soon as I’m quietly working at my desk my mind wanders off to thoughts of past encounters. Thankfully I can do this while still working until my boss walks up and asks a question. Something about him makes you feel guilty for not being the purist soul on the planet and although he couldn’t possibly know I fear he will somehow see it on my face.

After work while I’m at the bar or elsewhere with friends I’ve noticed I go silent and stare at the wall if they are boring me. I know that sounds terrible but sometimes people you see on a regular basis start talking about things with each other that you have no desire to contribute to. Like baseball. So my mind wanders off to thoughts of things to try. Then I get a nudge from someone and a “you, okay?” and I realize I might have a problem. Luckily most of them already know my soul is dark and dirty so that isn’t a shocker to anyone.

Then I go home and watch constant episodes of “The Golden Girls” because “Frasier” became too distracting after I developed a crush on Kelsey Grammer. God help Betty White! I’m kidding I’m kidding, calm down. She is pretty hot for a 90 year old woman though.

Whoa, anyway…. Like I said I’ve been having this problem with distraction and I’m wondering if anyone knows what I can do about it.

Bruce Dickinson: Guess what… I got a fever! And the only prescription.. is more cowbell!

16 comments:

Joker_SATX said...

People tell me that I still have quite a few steps to climb to get to the gutter. So I am with ya there. For example, right now I have about 100 different fires that are burning. What am I doing? Posting on your blog and daydreaming of how dirty you can actually be....

Wrong...just wrong I tell you!

Mike said...

Are you a good looking man with a real vagina and home grown boobs?

I thought only men thought like this? (sans Kelsey Grammar, though I'd probably crush on him too if I was gay or a woman).

Reb said...

You are not alone! (I had to go back and read the beginning of the post to refresh my memory after reading the two comments! But that could just be old age on my part) I totally get the staring at the wall part - especially when talk is about sports. As for the work thing, I would suggest your job is not challenging enough to engage your brain, so as long as you get the job done, don't worry about it. There is nothing wrong with having your mind in the gutter as long as you leave room for mine to flow past ;)

Knight said...

Joker- That is very interesting. So do you blog or what? How am I supposed to stalk you back?

Mike- Yes. Yes I am.

Reb- Ha, all true. I will leave an express lane open in the gutter just incase I get caught up on something.

Jay said...

I get distracted easily too. I meant to comment on comment on this post earlier, but I started sneezing, then my balls started itching and next thing I know I've been watching old episodes of "Soap" on Netflix for a couple of hours and I'm like "Oh crap! I didn't comment on Knight's blog."

Also, my mind does tend to be in the gutter often. Especially when I'm watching Giada. I find myself saying things like "Yeah, I'd preheat your oven babe." Which is embarrassing when I say it out loud in the waiting room at the dentist's office or something.

Knot said...

Those are called racing thoughts. Never knew what they were until a dr. rx'd a med for stress for me. I enjoy the thoughts when I was used to them, it made me think faster.

Good and bad.

Farmer*swife a/k/a Glass_Half_Full said...

Ahhh, to have time to look at a wall and think.. Naw, really. I get you. I recall times out with friends when I had other stuff to think about.

You are distracted because your subconscious is trying to figure something out, make a decision, or come to terms with a decision you are lightly aware of but not ready to deal with...

Me and my psycho analysms... :-)

BSOB said...

You need another fix, whether its blue oyster cult, a drug to cure distraction or whatever's biting you, or bit you.

Gary's third pottery blog said...

Knight, gal, lemme tell you: all this started after you Benji here a second time: be assured, he will never talk about baseball :)

Knight said...

Jay- Watching old episodes of SOAP made you think of my blog? How did that.... Wait, your dentist shows the Food Network in the waiting room? Isn't that counter productive..Did you say balls?

Knot- So why did you get rid of them? I know they didn't totally go away!

FarmerGal- You are probably right but I have no intention of dealing with things so I guess I'll keep the distracted behavior.

BSOB- Yes. Yes I do. I need another fix of all of those things. Wont that just make it worse though?

Gary- You don't have to tell me. I know Benji is trouble.

jack mehoff said...

problem with distraction? i see no problem

LL said...

First Woody and now Frasier? Who's next? Norm or Cliff?

Honey... sounds to me like you've got a long way to go yet...

When you get as old a I am... you can go two... three minutes at a time easy without thinking about those things.

But now knowing that you're thinking about them is gonna make it hard for me to maintain my resolve. :P

Matt-Man said...

I can be of no help in this area, but I can give you tips on how to make it worse. I'm distracted constantly. Cheers Knight!!

Scott Oglesby said...

I do the same thing all day every day Knight. Whether it’s sex, drugs or wondering what I’m going to make for dinner my mind wont stay where it’s supposed to be. So when I can I just indulge myself. At least when it comes to sex or drugs anyway.

Joker_SATX said...

Knight...For your reference.

http://farceur.wordpress.com

Yes I know...it's a shameless plug.

Anonymous said...

Gutter Guard