I had this terrifying dream that you were trying to wake me in the middle of the night for a little, ahem, lovin’ and when I opened my eyes I didn’t recognize you. I didn’t recognize you because apparently before waking me you decided to shave off all your hair including your beard and eyebrows. It scared the crap out of me. Please, lover, don’t shave off your eyebrows in the middle of the night. You need them. If you promise not to do anything crazy like that I shall be happy to wake whenever you want.