Love Letter

My Love Letter to Moooooog35 (aka Midget Man of Steel) As Promised

Dearest Moooooog35,

You are my hero, my endless love, my fantasy.

There are so many reasons to worship you like a sassy Egyptian Cat. 

Your convenient height leaves your face nestled right at chest level.

Your karate photos drive me wild. Just thinking about them has me hot with….wait a minute

I just noticed I’m not in your blog roll. WTF Moooooog? WTF?

Catching up with Online Therapy and Baked Sarcasm

I know I haven’t been around much but I don’t know what to say. I guess I’ll just use this as my therapy lounge per usual and throw out thoughts as they come to me.

I auditioned for a show last night. It was my first straight play audition in quite some time. I didn’t realize just how much I missed acting. I really hope I get to be a part of it. I'll let you know how that pans out. Creating a character and working from the actors side of the stage is something that my whole world used to revolve around. How did I get so distracted from something I loved that much?

It’s birthday week. Not my birthday week. Apparently it’s the birthday week of almost everyone I know though.  Okay, only nine close friends, three family members, and four of my eight coworkers.  The extent of my gift giving will probably be the cookies I just sent to my Dad. 

I really love the Bitter Baking Company.  

Here, use this link and get a discount.

In other news, I think I started developing feelings for someone that I shouldn’t. That’s awkward. Don’t worry, I’ll never tell. I won’t tell them and I won’t tell you. I’ll just bottle it up until it goes away… or until I develop feelings even more obscure than these. Oh life, how you suck.

Hello My Loves

VD Has come and gone. It’s the Day of Valentine’s and Venereal Disease. I hope you enjoyed yours!

Mine was perfectly lovely for the most part.

Negative Points of Evil Corporate Love Day:

I had a seizure in the morning. The first one Mike was ever witness to. It seems it was very mild.

I was late to work and in pain most of the day.

My ex was writing shit that pertained to me on Facebook and generally it seems he feels very sorry for himself which affects me negatively because I can’t stop reaching out.

A friend’s mother is very close to passing away.

Positive Points of Evil Corporate Love Day:

Mom sent me Egyptian cotton bedding and new pillows!

I had a date Monday night with Mike at Fatty Crab and we ripped apart a sea creature together. 

I was asked to buy flowers and candy for the office so we had a hideous bouquet and red velvet cupcakes.

I sent out little messages to at least a dozen friends.

The first Lodge Meeting in months was held at 5:30. It was beautiful.

My gorgeous friends Mojo and Lisa invited me over to their fest of bubbly, chocolate, and cheese spread. We drank and laughed while talking over a fundraiser coming up soon.

I got home at 1am.

The good outweighs the bad.

Not such a terrible holiday this time around and it’s all thanks to my many bitchin’ friends!

Happy hump holiday to you.

- Knight

Dear Lover,

Dear Lover,

I had this terrifying dream that you were trying to wake me in the middle of the night for a little, ahem, lovin’ and when I opened my eyes I didn’t recognize you. I didn’t recognize you because apparently before waking me you decided to shave off all your hair including your beard and eyebrows. It scared the crap out of me. Please, lover, don’t shave off your eyebrows in the middle of the night. You need them. If you promise not to do anything crazy like that I shall be happy to wake whenever you want.

Xo,

Knight

The Never Ending Process of Trying to Move On

When I started this blog I had recently been broken up with by someone that I had already fallen head over heels for. It broke my heart. I couldn’t let them know how much. We stayed friends and I think outwardly I handled it well. I started to see someone else but unfortunately for them I wasn’t over my ex. I couldn’t move on. As it turned out the breakup didn’t stick and we were back together within months.

I really had a wonderful time when I was with Casey. I didn’t doubt that the love was mutual and he became my best friend. I think for both of us it was the first relationship that showed us what we were worth, and it’s a lot. I adore his entire family and all of his friends. He was the only person I ever imagined building a future with. I wanted a part of that life.

Unfortunately things change. There was some sort of disconnect in understanding each other and I started to grow distant. There is no reason to go back into that so I won’t. We wanted different things in life and we had to move on.

Casey and I are still friends. We can’t possibly be as close as we once were but I try to stay a part of his life and attempt to keep him in mine. I think we’ve done a pretty stellar job at the whole ex thing to be honest.

Last weekend I was asked to meet for a happy hour margarita. It had been a few months since we last went for drinks just the two of us and I wondered if there was a particular reason for this meeting. One margarita in, the news came out. Next month Casey is proposing to his girlfriend during their trip to Paris.

I honestly don’t remember what my initial reaction was. I guess I was somewhat shocked because I didn’t know how serious the relationship was. I felt incredibly happy for him and selfishly melancholy at the same time. I wasn’t sure why. I spent the next couple days trying to sort out my thoughts and emotions. I teared up more than once. I finally just said it. I feel like I’m losing him.

Let me clarify. I don’t want to be romantically involved or anything of the sort. I’m thrilled that someone I care so much about found the person they want to spend the rest of their life with. I’m just jealous that I don’t know her. I don’t know that part of his life. Now that part will be his everything. Casey, like a true adult, is moving on.

I have a constant fear of losing my friends. This isn’t new. I've had this reaction before. Just not with someone I once thought I would marry. I know that the people I love are going to couple up and move out of the city. I’ll hear from them in a Facebook post and maybe see them every couple years. I know we all grow apart and relationships change. I know. And yet I can’t seem to handle it like everyone else.

I told Casey this (more or less) via e-mail once I had it figured out. Now, with his blessing, I’m going to work on getting to know his future fiancé. With that in mind, suddenly, all that selfish worry is gone. Now I can be appropriately excited for my friend in one of the biggest moments of his life. Seriously, Paris?! That’s going to be one hell of a proposal. She’s a lucky girl to have you Case. I’m sure I’ll soon find that you’re lucky to have her too.

“Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance you must keep moving.” — Albert Einstein

Ass For Christmas

My New Favorite Christmas Video.

Double click to see the large version.



Some of you might have figured out already that this is my boyfriend. Creepy, I know. Neil and Sky have been a songwriting duo for several years. It’s about damn time they made this into a video. I’m very proud. Please feel free to share this with your family for the holidays. Maybe grandma needs to ask Santa for ass as well. You never know.

Sending The Message

My lover Sky is an awesome guy. We rule countries together (at Medieval Times in New Jersey) as you can see in the photo above. Don't we look evil? We are. Anyway, I love Sky very much. We have been together for something like a year and change, I think. During this time we have both been unemployed off and on, seriously broke, sick, happy, performing, amazing. He has also been pretty much homeless for a few months in there. It became convenient for him to slowly move his shit into my apartment. Then it was convenient that he was staying there every night. Sooner or later I realized, WTF? You are living with me! I don't remember agreeing to that.

Now you see, I have crazy expensive rent because I live in an awesome neighborhood. It's also the smallest studio apartment you could ever imagine. I posted a video tour of it once. I barely have room for me and my stuff let alone a whole other person. So I never let Sky move his stuff out of his brother's place and storage into my place. Therefore, he doesn't pay any rent. This whole arrangement was fine with me because we both have been having a hard time.

The situation has changed.

Sky's wonderful lovely brother has an apartment in Queens which is about 45 minutes on the subway from me. He has a nice two bedroom with a kitchen and living room. It sounds like a palace! The old roommate ran home to Texas so Sky moved all his stuff in and finally has a real home. I'm thrilled for him. So why isn't he staying there? GET OUT OF MY APARTMENT SKY! I want my own damn space back! I want to put everything back where it belongs. I want to be there watching what I want on TV and listening to my music. I want it to look the same as it did when I left when I come home. I miss living alone! I'm begging you. Go away. Not all the time. Not forever. Just rewind this whole thing about a year and we will be back on track. I'm telling you, I will love you more if you GET OUT.

Pet Names: A Rant

Don't call me Honey Bear. Don't call me Cutie or Lovey or Dovey or Sweetie. It drives me completely insane! Maybe you think I'm kidding or maybe you think I'm putting up an act. I guarantee you I'm not. When you are trying to turn me on and you mention Baby Cakes I think of babies and that is no good. Any words that can be associated with children should not be associated with me. Binkie, Frou Frou, Pookie, Peachy Pie... Save these names for your offspring.

Now you might be wondering what is acceptable. Not just for me, of course, but for someone with my same distaste for this type of language. Well, it depends on the personality of course. I decided to look up a nick name generator for lovers. You enter your first and last name then it gives you a suggestion. Mine was "Wicked Hot". I think that is perfect. It makes me feel good about myself and I don't feel like a child. Any other name I put in brought up child like crap so GOOD LUCK! Other acceptable names would be along the lines of Beautiful, Charming, Tiger, Killer, you get the idea.

Now I don't mean to offend the people that are into this sort of thing because you certainly make up the majority. I just feel that it is important to let people know not everyone feels that way. Some people *ahem ME ahem* had enough of the cute crap when they were little. Maybe I'll get back into it when I'm starting to shrivel up again but until then, ADULT names only PLEASE!

Houston

It's time for a Dino Break.

As Promised

Even though the video I'm attaching here doesn't sound very good I'm going to share it with you as promised. It was recorded by a friend that was sitting in the audience and we had no idea he was taping. We had just pulled this adorable guy in the video out of the audience.



Watching the videos is a little awkward because you miss what ties everything together. It feels a little empty without the banter. In addition to that, I can't stand hearing all the mistakes and watching myself trip over all the cords on stage. I would have completely forgotten about my shoe coming off if it hadn't have been recorded. This is probably why I never got all that interested in film. I can't even commit to posting a vlog most of the time.

Grrr. My work phone is ringing. Must go.

My Crush on Mr. Stewart

About a week ago TLJ got some tickets to see The Daily Show so we went with a couple friends. It was fairly exciting to be a part of the live audience. The set was obviously pretty small but that just means you sit closer to the action. Sweet! I have a crush on Jon Stewart. I think he would make a good mate, don’t you?  He would always have plenty to say at dinner parties and class reunions plus you wouldn’t have to read the paper. He could tell you anything worth knowing.   When he was on set I realized he is very tiny. Why must TV people be tiny? I don’t get it. No, this does not affect my crush on him. It’s affect not effect, right? So the show goes by quickly. They didn’t have to take a single shot twice. It was all done in real time with brief commercial breaks where two nerdy but awesome writers come speed walking out of the darkness and chat with Jon at the desk. When it’s all over he lets us ask him questions. I don’t remember anything that was asked but yes he is funny when on the spot. *Sigh*.  It was a lovely experience.  TLJ says I have a distinct laugh and he thought he heard it when the show aired that night.  I guess I don’t know what I sound like because I didn’t realize it was that distinct. This worries me. The Knight side of my family is known for distinct, loud, in most cases obnoxious laughs. I don’t want to be THAT bad. Then again, I don’t really care.

Oh right, THIS is why I have a crush on Jon.



Let’s come on out of the dark ages people. Live and let live. Love and let love.

Romance and Shit

The ladies require a lot of chivalry. I'm not sure why. It just seems to be that way. I'm not used to that and it always throws me a little off guard.

Yesterday I received flowers at the office. I got a call that told me I needed to come to the reception desk to sign for something. As I approached I saw the flowers and a whole lot of people looking at me. For some reason panic set in and all I could think was "who in the hell?" when suddenly I remembered it was my 2 year anniversary with Casey. (Two years is a long time for both of us.) Once I realized they were from him I was thrilled. I love flowers. I love them more when they come from the right people. Casey is the right people. He told me he tried to find black flowers (my favorite color) but no luck so he went with the next best thing. How thoughtful was that? It was incredibly nice of him and unexpected. I appreciated it.

This all got me thinking about the various things humans do to create romantic moments. Obviously proposals come to mind. I was thinking about high school when people asked you to the prom and other dances. I was asked to the prom on a very large sign at a busy intersection in town. It got a lot of attention and thankfully I liked the guy or that would have been really embarrassing.

My grandmother was proposed to by her first husband when she was thirteen. He didn't know how to write so he had his sister write a note and hand it to my grandmother on the school bus. They got married and I think she had my aunt when she was 14. Those were the good old days.

My father asked my mother to move in with him and she said that her father would never pay for a wedding if she moved in with him first. So they got married. I think that is the most romantic story of all!

I also have friend's stories about carriage rides through Central Park and limos to the Eiffel Tower but all that crap is over done.

I'm writing all of this in hopes that some of you have some good stories. Come on, show me what ya got.

Pimpin my Work Peeps

My office is so very loveless these days. I told my lonely co-workers I would help pimp them out via my blog. Luckily I've got something for everyone (except lesbians, sorry ladies). They agreed to let me post a profile of each of them in hopes of meeting new available people. They all say they are willing to travel to other cities, and countries for the right person/amount of money. Okay, in all honesty none of them are actually lonely but they are single. They are all very cool people and they agreed to let me write profiles about them.
So step right up and meet the people that get me through the work day:


StumpsAround:
Stumpy is a SWF from the South. The nickname Stumpy came from another co-worker who once opened a muffin and found mold inside the Stump. She has since dubbed our shorter work pal Stumps/Stumpy/StumpsAround, or anything else you can come up with. Her interests include buying expensive clothes, drinking beer then visiting white castle, spreading pink eye to cowboys, baking delicious cookies, dancing the robot, and hiding in duffel bags. She has a tendency to self sabotage her relationships by going for the wrong man every time. If you are Asian or look under age she will be all yours.



LargeDecafHazelnutCoffeeWithMilk:
The name is obviously the drink he orders every freakin' day at our 10:30 coffee run. For some reason the guy at the cafe can't remember all the specifics so he has to tell him every time. Ridiculous! LDHCM likes his coffee like he likes his men: Tall, light, and nutty but doesn't effect your nerves. That is only sort of true. You don't have to be light. LDHCM writes funny skits and plays and shit. He will probably write one for you if you ask real nice. He also draws random pictures all day. I think most of them are of himself which would imply that he is extremely narcissist. I wish he would start a blog because he has a sense of humor like no other. He is looking for a soulpal that will read the dictionary with him. His interests are dumplings, being a tetherball (see image), and carrots.


REX:
This is the catch of the day ladies. He has recently been made over by yours truly and the two listed above. (Seriously, new wardrobe, haircut, everything.) He is looking for a lady that will mess with his emotions and cause irreparable damage to his ego. He is easily lured with rice krispie treats, banana liquor, and needy cats. His secret desire is to be a famous white raper like Eminem or Vanilla Ice. His interests are improv, getting lots of attention, trapping people in his apartment, and condemning you to hell for smoking.
We do not take responsibility for the hat in this picture.

These are my peeps and I'm trying to hook them up so if you are looking or you know somone that is looking please feel free to make a bid and I'll except the payments via pay pal. I can have them delivered in six to eight days.

Show Some Love Day

Today, in honor of this hallmark holiday, I feel like giving out some blogentines. It makes me feel like I’m participating is society. So, this blogentine is for anyone reading and I also want to give a special note to a few bloggers. Here goes:

New Found Loves:

R.E.H. @ Ramblings of a Madman One of the perfect people for a blogentine because of his Rubicon Heart. R.E.H.'s posts are so honest and open I feel like I know him. Then I remember I don't know his name and only recently realized he lives in another country. Take a gander at his writing if you dare. I warn you, it's addictive.

Jay @ Cynical Bastard Obviously I originally visited this blog because of the title. I mean, come on, it spoke to me. Then Jay took me on a drive to McDonald's and I was hooked. To be honest, I was hooked long before that drive because he is damn funny.

Tink @ Pickled Beef. She is sporktastic. Sporktastic in a really cool and creative sort of way. She shares a lot of hilarious conversations that will make your day and she also hosts Weekly Words Challenge which I always intend to participate in but never do.

FuriousBall: I don't think this guy knows I'm stalking him yet. I frequent this blog because he always posts the best links to random oddities he finds on the web. There is no real lead into what the link is to so it is a great surprise when it ends up being cat nipple pasties or something equally as bizarre.

Returning Loves:

Doodle and Darla finally came back to blog world! I missed you. *single tear* I know you both have new jobs and intend to work during the day but you can't just get me addicted to blogging and then leave me here!

Blooming Loves:

NYCeCe, It's about time you started posting more frequently. You started in July and managed an amazing four posts in 2007. I'm thrilled to see you have already doubled that this year. Your writing always amazes me. So post it more often k? thanks.

And last but not least, YOU. I’m giving this Blogentine to you with a sassy wink and maybe a little blow of a kiss *xx*. See, there it is. Have a lovely day!