What happened last night?

I woke up at 6:30 in the morning and couldn’t force myself to sleep anymore. I had crazy dreams all night long. I was under investigation for a murder and apparently the person murdered had been stalking me but I had no idea. On top of all that my teeth were falling apart! It was so detailed and intricate. I could write a movie script. My imagination is capable of scaring the shit out of me and it does so frequently. When I checked my Facebook account I had a whole bunch of status updates in my feed about people having strange dreams last night. Guess I’m not alone.

I WAS ATTACKED....

BY ELVES! Well okay, maybe I was attacked by myself. Yesterday I was using the tiny knife on the wine opener to cut some cardboard and I stabbed it right into my hand. Turns out even with my bad circulation I have lots of blood flowing between my thumb and pointer finger. That little thing gushed all the way across the room and even hit the mirror hung six feet in the air. The cut really wasn't all that bad but the amount of blood scared the hell out of me. In my panic I started calling people in an effort to be told what to do. I was holding a towel like it was the only thing keeping me from falling off a building and trying to make phone calls with the other hand. Of course nobody picked up the phone. It was the middle of the day and apparently everyone I know has a life. Luckily Casey is the person who called me back. Being that he is an ER nurse he is the only person whose opinion I really trusted anyway. He came over while I cleaning up the blood and, disappointed that he missed the scene, bandaged up my hand. It really wasn't all that bad so he was probably annoyed he made the trip but it was still nice to have the reassurance you don't need stitches. Thanks for being there Case.

Have you ever tried washing your hair with one arm? It's surprisingly difficult.