Friday, March 16, 2007

Still Alive

In the early hours of Tuesday morning as I was drifting in and out of sleep I suddenly thought it was the end for me. I woke just enough to roll on to my left side when suddenly my whole body collapsed into the bed. I felt like I was cramping up all over in every muscle and every joint. I tried to look at the clock but I couldn't move my head. I couldn't move anything. This is when panic set in. I tried to call out to my roommate for help but I couldn't get my mouth to move. I couldn't do anything at all but lie there in excruciating pain. It occurred to me that I might die in that very spot and nobody would find me for days. I was praying that the pain would soon end and that I would make it through when I noticed that my arm was shaking. Was I having a seizure? A heart attack? What was happening? Finally the pain started to ease and I could think a little more clearly. I'm alive. I know I'm alive and I'm so unbelievably tired. Then I passed out.
Next morning at the ER I get an IV and CatScan. The Neurologist does some basic testing to make sure I don't have any damage. Diagnosis: Seizure. Could have been caused by any number of things but they don't want to treat me unless it happens again. I'm set up for more tests and referred to another neurologist for more review. Off I go back into the world with no changes made. Now I can't sleep at night because I'm afraid I will choke to death on my own tongue.
I can't help but feel like this is all supposed to mean something. What though? Am I not going in the right direction? Is the direction right but my vehicle all wrong? I really hope I get this figured out soon because I want to stick around for awhile.


Darla said...

This whole things makes me so so nervous for you. I really hope they figure something out. :(

GMEyster said...

Girl - maybe you should get one of those life alert things - knowing I could hit a button and have help be on it's way would make me feel better at night.

Hope they figure out what's causing them soon....are you following up? Good grief. Stay strong!

JasonBSchmidt said...

It will all be okay. I'm here for you if you need anything.

Carly said...

Thanks guys. I'm sure I'll be fine. Nothing like a good scare to get your ass in gear.