Real late posting....

Grandma sent my birthday horoscope as she does every year. It just came in the mail with a copy of the clairvoyant Sylvia Brown's latest book. Grandma is crazy.

Here is what the clipping reads (with my notes).

Holiday Mathis'
Horoscopes
Saturday, June 2, 2007
The Cosmic elixir includes a drop of seriousness, compliments of the Capricorn moon, in the Gemini sun's bubbly champagne cocktail. (mmmm bubbly...) When your festivities are interrupted by a somber idea or weighty responsibility, reflection or duty (babysitting?)- but don't stay mired there. There's too much to celebrate. (And celebrate we did.)
Today's Birthday (June 2):
This year presents a panoply (I had to look this word up. It's real.) of unknowns and unknowables. (Gee. How informative of you Horoscope) Don't be afraid if you haven't a clue what to do next. Take comfort in the fact that no one else knows, either, and then step into this brave world. (Uh huh.... why am I still reading?) There's a financial bonus this month. (Oh yeah, that's why.) New relationships entice you in July. (Huh???) Libra and Taurus people are reliable and interesting companions. (I know. I have my Libra!) Your lucky numbers are: 5 27 22 1 and 45. (Great. Thanks.)
Gemini (May 21-June 21): It's possible to turn your character flaws into character assets. But first you have to want to, and today you're just not in the mood. Anyway, if they love you, they'll take you "as is", right? (So spending the day drunk off my ass would probably be a character flaw... uh... ooops? Thanks for sticking around guys!)