Welcome Spring (You flighty bastard.)

Friday night was a nice night in the city. Conveniently placed about fifteen seconds from my building entrance is a Mexican restaurant with margaritas by the pitcher. Everyone knows that on the first nice night of spring one must enjoy mass quantities of some sort of Mexican drink. I would never dream of breaking this rule so Casey was kind enough to meet me and appease the lords of liquor. Since it wasn't quite warm enough to spend the remainder of the evening streaking down Broadway we decided to attempt watching a movie and failed.

Saturday was even better than Friday weather wise. I thought I better get my pasty limbs to the park and start sunning. It's already difficult to sleep since I have become glow in the dark so I strapped on my roller skates and made my way to a grassy spot in the sun. To absolutely nobodies surprise, every other New Yorker was also in central park trying to get sun. As we all brawled for a patch of grass we left our apartments unattended so the robbers had plenty to do. I own nothing of worth so I don't worry about these things. Take my TV from the 90's ... I dare you!

So I sat in the sun for a few hours thinking I was probably getting a nice burn. Nope. Nothing. The slightest hint of a line on my stomach maybe. What the hell? I'm translucent and I can't even get a burn after hours of sun exposure. So I skated to the salon and got my hair highlighted instead. Getting your hair highlighted takes a freakishly long time so at six o'clock I go running home (skates in hand) to get showered and dolled up in my hot black dress. Then I have to be downtown by 6:45. Someone please give me credit for getting ready in only twenty minutes! Single, you know what I mean, right?

Anyway, I head off to dinner and then a comedy show benefit for AIDS Walk. It was fun. Sort of odd. Some white chick dressed in tight overalls sang a song about stealing my purse. I helped my friend JBS pick up a really hot crippled comedian with nice teeth. He fell asleep during a particularly bad comedy show later that eve so the pick up wasn't looking good but apparently it was just a power nap and everything worked out just fine. So I left the two of them in a cab and headed to a birthday party in Hell's Kitchen around midnight. I walked up to the bar just in time to help smuggle in slightly under age college kids. I had not been to this place before (I guess I'm out of the loop now.) so I wasn't prepared to have gyrating men in briefs sweat on me as I tried to order a drink. Oh yeah, this was a gay bar so for most of the night Go-go dancers are on the bar. Then Peppermint showed up and did a couple numbers. Peppermint is pretty much the most popular drag queen in New York these days. I remember several years ago when she first started hosting cattle call at Therapy. Oh, Therapy is a bar and cattle call is a talent show of sorts. Anyway, she had us all sing happy birthday to my friend and then I headed home because apparently I'm getting too old for this shit.

Around three am I decided to check my messages and discovered I won a LION KISS from The Mountain Cat over at You Just Keep On Believing That!


Sadly, this award was bestowed upon me because I suggested the Pope might have plans to bless NYC vendor's hot dog water thus making delicious Holy Hot Dogs. Wait, did I say sadly? I am very proud and thankful to the Mountain Cat for this honor. I just wish I hadn't decided to write a comment at three am about getting tongued by a mountain lion. Sorry about that.

Then Sunday happened but nothing could top this award so I'll bring this post to a close. Hasta la vista.