Tuesday, August 5, 2008

Transit Bugs

On my morning subway commute we were packed slightly more sardine style than usual. I take three trains on my hour journey to queens. The first two are full so I always stand. Always. Today I was standing uncomfortably close to an unusual man that didn't look particularly clean but he didn't look particularly dirty either. He was in front of me facing the door. I was behind him facing the back of his head. By facing the back of his head I mean my face was maybe a half a foot away from the reflection gleaming back at me from his sweaty noggin. I would have preferred at least a two foot buffer but sometimes you have to deal with it.

My eyes were glossed over and I was successfully ignoring everyone around me as I do every morning. Then something caught my eye. On the shoulder of the man just inches away was a very active bug. I'm not exactly sure what kind of bug. It was about the size of a lady bug but a tan color. I never see anything other than a cockroach around here so I was surprised. This little bug proceded to crawl along the shirt and up the man's collar. Then it brushed up on his gross neck and moved back on to the shirt. That damn thing ran all over the place. I could see it had wings so I was hoping it wouldn't decide to use them to visit me.

Here is an overview of some of the thoughts going through my head:

What in the hell is that? A pet?
How could that get on that guy's shirt?
Did he bring it on the subway with him?
Where did this guy come from?
What if it poops?
Should I kill it?
What would the guy do if I smacked him in the back of the neck and when he turned there was no bug to prove I was doing my civic duty?

I realize I could have just tapped the guy and let him know he was harvesting bugs in his shirt but I chose not to say a word and left it for the next passenger to deal with.

What would you have done?


Dana said...

EXACTLY what you did ... after I recovered from my panic attack from being underground AND packed like a sardine.

LL said...

You should have just whacked him in the head and blamed it on the bug... :P

Anonymous said...

SIS! I would have RANNNNNNNN the other way! I am silly when it comes to bugs.. But hey that might have been his pet!!!


Reb said...

I'm with Dana - don't pack me in like a sardine and then stick me underground - thankyouverymuch!

As for the bug, I would not have seen it as I would have been staring at the roof to get an illusion of space. Of course if I had seen it I would probably have screamed.

g-man said...

LOL! I'd have had the same thoughts about what to do. I'm sure I'd have left it for the fates to deal with, so long as it was not going to buzz my way.

Freakazojd said...

Oh my god, EW. To say that I do not deal well with bugs is an understatement. I'm not stupid about it, but I do not like them, no sirree. So...I would have squished my way farther away and crossed my fingers or whatever in hopes that the wings would not be used. ...Ew ew ew.

Anonymous said...

On a subway in NY? Nothing..


moooooog35 said...

What would I have done?

You mean before or after the reach-around?

In this scenario, I'm playing the part of you - just so you know.

cat said...


That is one of my worst fears.....People with bugs!

I can't deal with that at all. I remember a girlfriend of mine, her daughter had head lice from summer camp. She called and told me about it, I scratched and shivered all day over that. Then I wouldn't let my daughter go over there for 3 weeks, until I knew they were all Lice FREE!

Oh my, Knight I don't know what I would have done, probably what you did......I would have been frozen with fear, for sure.

furiousBall said...

this is why everygirl needs her very own flamethrower

The Mountain Cat said...

Knight, I get more and more disgruntled with my train commute everyday. I take the PATH to the V. I just put my head down, read my book and ignore everyone.

Jay said...

I would have pointed at the bug and screamed like a little girl. ;-)

WomensDaily said...

I would have been gagging. I would have done exactly what you did.

Farmer*swife said...

I would have stood there...hoping said bug didn't find it's way to me.

GMEyster said...

Oh my gotto. I love these kinds of postings.

I have said things to people before on trains that has gotten responses as varied as the people I've said it to. Was that correct grammar?

You gotta do what you think is right in the situation. I probably would have stayed quiet on that one, too.