Minneapolis - A Business Trip

I was alone in Minneapolis.  Earlier that day I had flown into this frozen-over city for a brief business trip.  I was having a two night stand with the city and other than being chilled to the core I was enjoying myself.

 After the sun set I decided to venture out of my hotel room and explore.  I didn’t know my way around at all but with my innate abilities to find an eventful good time it was only minutes before I saw the electric light of a JAZZ sign hanging off of a building.  I descended the stairs into the dimly lit bar room of a steak house. The place wasn’t very busy but a band was about to start so I sat at a table in a dim corner and ordered a glass of cabernet. A southern blues-soul sound began to fill the room. The lead had a perfect sort of rough sound to his voice that matched his sexy scruffy exterior. My senses were overwhelmed.  I couldn’t keep my eyes off the band. The sound of the piano bounced off the walls and filled me with sheer elation. I stayed for hours until their gig was over.

The next night I went back. How could I not? This time I sat up at the bar and drank meaty red wines while smiling slyly at the singer who was definitely making eyes at me. The air was full of electricity. I wasn’t sure if I was so drawn to him because he was ridiculously handsome or because the music was a siren song. In retrospect perhaps it was the wine making a delicious blend of the two.

After the set he met me at the bar with the rest of the band. We flirted and had a few laughs. Conversation was easy. We went well together. When the bar closed we wandered to another in order to prolong our meeting.  Our hands were entwined. Toward the end of the night I found myself in his car as he gave me a ride back to my hotel so I wouldn’t have to endure the chill. Our discussion turned to something personal and intense regarding a recent divorce and your soul aching. It led to a very passionate kiss. He cupped my cold face with his hands and said I had to be some sort of angel. I had appeared at the perfect moment. His sparkling eyes locked in on mine as we kissed again. Then we said goodbye. I flew home to New York a few hours later.

We never saw each other again.

Why?

Jay asked me (well, everyone) why I blog and then listed a whole bunch of really good reasons so that I wouldn’t have to think too hard. I decided that it’s to avoid paying for therapy. I want to take this moment to thank you all for being a part of my group therapy sessions. I’ve worked through a lot and all you had to do was comment every now and again about nothing in particular. I really feel that I’ve grown as a person and each of you almost have something to do with that. Almost.

I told Sky to go to his own home Friday and got the whole weekend to myself! What did I do alone in my apartment over the weekend? Clean. I feel so much better. Cleanliness is next to happiness is what I always say. Don’t worry, I’ve never said that. I don’t like cleaning things, I just like it to be clean and I can’t afford cleaning people to do it for me. I also realized I have a weird little quirk and I wonder if others have the same thing. If I have been cleaning anything, not organizing but cleaning, I have to take a shower immediately after. It’s not like I actually got dirty in the process but even running the vacuum means I have to take a shower. I might have problems.

I sang during a friends show at a bar last night. It was a last minute thing but very fun. Then a crazy old red headed guy dressed in full Jets attire insisted on walking me home. Normally I would be worried but he was nice and smaller and weaker than me. He proposed to me. How is it that the strangest human being at the bar will always seek me out? I’ve gotten so many proposals from strange old men in my days I can’t even begin to count. What in the hell is that about?

Rockin' and Rollin'

I have started going to Rock & Roll Karaoke night at Arlene's Grocery Monday nights. It's basically a dirty old bar with a rock band that lets you choose a song from their set list and sing it live on stage with them. It's a decent size crowd that shows up to this wild evening to scream their heads off. I went for the second time last Monday. Casey and I decided to go early so we could get our names in the book and sing early on.

We walked in at the same time as a guy that was their the week before and is clearly a regular. He is 40 years old with an unkempt mohawk, a dirty leather jacket, and the worst case of body odor imaginable. He very well could be homeless actually. So the three of us walk into the bar and some sort of comedy show is in the works so we belly up to the bar and sit on the stools to watch the end of the show. It wasn't bad especially since we came in at the end and didn't have to pay. While the show is going on I happen to look at a guy sitting to my left and realize he looks familiar.

Does anyone remember my Missed Connections post? Last July I saw a guy on a train that I had posted a missed connection about in 2004 as a joke and he found it. We don't really know each other put our paths kept crossing somehow. Well, he was now sitting next to me. This time I said hello and let him know I have been reading his blog. It was a very unusual experience for me. I have never even seen some of the neighbors that live on the same floor as me in my apartment building but somehow I keep running into this guy. Luckily he seems like a normal person. So my evening started out with this odd occurrence. It would take a lot to top that, right? Apparently not.

Fast forward. The band is playing. People are singing. Creepy stinky guy is jumping around up front and wait, what is that? He is making out with some chick? Eww. They are making such a big scene that the band actually comments on the fact that it's a good night because this dude somehow found a girl. She is kind of scaring me. Casey is up to sing before me. He is in the middle of rocking "Don't You Forget About Me" when he pauses to mention that the chick is showing her tits. Yep, he announced it to the whole crowd because that is what a rocker should do. This chick is not only showing them but she took off her whole shirt and bra. Nasty stinky guy was cupping and fondling while Casey was singing and the whole audience was watching the show.

One of the fun aspects of Rock & Roll karaoke is that they usually have a photographer there taking pictures of all the singers. He gets a couple hundred photos and posts them all to flickr for the world to see. Guess what the majority of Casey's pictures looked like. Yep, a greasy topless chick with Casey in the background. That is Rock and Roll my friends. That is how it's done.

Missed Connections

An odd thing happened on my way to work. I was running a little late, mostly because I dread coming here so much and I wanted to stay with Casey. But alas, I had to leave. As I sat on the train I noticed a guy that looked somewhat familiar so I scanned my brain trying to figure out how I would know him. School? No. Some show? No. Then it came to me.... I met him here. The guy I was trying not to stare at was someone I met on this very train and spoke to for all of one minute in 2004! You might be wondering how I could possibly remember that. Well, the story gets weirder. When we briefly met in 2004 we only spoke because we got in the same train car and he hit his head on the roof. I laughed at him openly because I am rude. Then he spoke to himself for a awhile. That was about it. Insanely tall and crazy is easy to remember and tends to catch ones attention. I found the event funny and kept it in mind for later.

Moving on to later. In 2004 I spent way too much time on Craigslist. Through that site I found two of my apartments and so many jobs I can't even count. I didn't have blogging and Myspace to eat up all my time. I used to make fake dating profiles to read the funny responses. I found endless amusement. At some point I wrote my first Missed Connection. I think I was trying to be amusing and used the situation on the train with the tall guy that hit his head. To my complete shock, he saw it! The guy is a comedian and he was going through Craigslist looking for material and found my post. I never, ever thought in a million that if I wrote something the person would find it.

So this guy responds with more details of the incident. We both had a laugh at finding each other. He gave me a link to his website and mentioned he was doing something on Comedy Central. I think I might have sent him a clip of it or something. I'm not sure. I don't remember. Anyway, I should mention that this was simply an amusing situation that happened. We never spoke of actually meeting. There was not any interest in knowing each other and I assumed I would never see or hear of this person again. He would forever remain the missed connection that caught me acting like an ass on Craigslist.

Then a year or two later I got a strange e-mail. Some girl was writing to ask what my relationship was with a name that I didn't recognize. She had found my e-mail address in her boyfriend's mail and wanted to know who I was. After doing a mail search I finally figured it out and assured her I didn't really know him. He wasn't trying to pick people up. Not to worry. She wrote back something very sad about being in some bad relationships and having trust issues. I felt bad for her because we have all known some jaded girl at some point in time who just can't trust in a good thing. Then after thinking about it I started feeling bad for the guy because his girlfriend is paranoid and going through his mail. For the record, that is never okay. Boundaries are a very important part of relationships. I digress.

That was my last run in with the missed connection guy. Until today. When it finally dawned on me who he was after several stops I thought, should I go up and ask him? That seemed very creepy and pointless. Plus, I don't want anybody to think I'm hitting on them. Instead I told the odd story to a co-worker and sang "It's a small world." in my head for an hour. Then unable to let it go I decided to blog. That means I have to research. So I looked the guy up on myspace and found that in his top friends he links another NY comedian that I watched perform in Damn Yankees last weekend and recently performed in a Parodivas show! The Parodivas are my real friends. Feel free to blog stalk Jason and Darla.

So the moral of the story is, don't post stupid shit on Craigslist because it will haunt you for life. Or maybe the moral is, don't cross me because I will find you! Most likely the moral is, this planet of ours is much smaller than we realize.