Wednesday, September 7, 2011

Rafting Prom 2011!

In the year 2001 I spent one special day primping and stressing over the minute details of what was a barely remembered sort of annoying night. The event I attended was known to my high school senior class as Prom.  It didn’t suck but it wasn’t the amazing momentous occasion you are told to dream of either.

Two weeks ago I was at a friend’s birthday party being introduced to a sassy guy in a pink shirt as his prom date. He didn’t appreciate his date being forced upon him. I think he assumed I was a bitch. I assumed he was gay. I had no idea what this prom thing was so my friends explained that they had plans to get dressed in formal wear and then travel to a river in Jersey where they would ride down the river on air mattresses.  No way in hell was I going to miss this. It turns out pink shirt guy is not gay, just a bit of a hipster and we have a ton in common even though I am a bit of a bitch. I get to go to prom!

Ten years later the real prom of my dreams comes to life.  Hell, even the music was better. Listening to a bunch of freaks belt out Total Eclipse of the Heart while standing in a waterfall is a million times better than standing in a swaying circle of pubescent, crying, sex crazed youth singing American Pie.

Okay, okay it wasn’t prom. It was just a really awesome outing with crazy amazing people. Here, I’ll show you so you can feel left out. Just like your original prom.

 This is the full crew. Photo taken by random man in the forest with dog. 

The Ladies of the Lake

I'm keepin' it classy New Jersey!

The guys are lookin' mighty fine. 
Actually with me putting my dress on in the background it looks a little like a terrifying woodland after-orgy photo. 

Prom Photo! Knight and Date

   The Naughty Couple

The water looks oil filled but we didn't notice anything unusual. Thanks to the hurricane we almost cancelled the trip. We were afraid of flooding, hypothermia, dead bloated animals, cemetery bits, and 10,000 gallons of diesel fuel. 

 The Mighty Waterfall

Climbing the Waterfall (aka Tits and Ass photo)

I lost my shoe climbing the rock and sensing my weakness my date started stalking me in the wood.

 Carrying my dead body down the river like a gentleman. 


So it was a pretty great Labor Day weekend. Hey if anyone has any awesome ideas of amazing things to do I'm open to suggestions.


fiwa said...

God, that is brilliant! Hats off to whoever came up with that idea. Hillbilly orgy - I am still cracking up over that one.

jack mehoff said...

all proms should be based on this right here - simply insert your school colors/mascott

you guys look like you had a ball

Larson said...

Dude looks pretty gay to me.

Mike said...

How about parasailing off the freedom tower before they open it.

Micky-T said...

As crazy an event that I could ever want to be a part of. Awesome!
Great pics......and thanks for sharing!

Anonymous said...

LOVE IT! Now I want someone to do that here, quickly, before our summer weather goes away...

~Karen (kcinnova)

LL said...

What??? You agree to marry me and then go to a prom without me? And a redneck one to boot? Are you having second thoughts here? ;)

Looks like you had a blast. I spent the labor day weekend laboring. Isn't that an amazing thing to do? It isn't? Hmmm... I'll get back to you on that...

Gary's third pottery blog said...

knight = mermaid!!!!!

I'm With Stupid said...

Yet another prom that I didn't get invited to attend. Oh well, at least I kept my perfect record in tact.

Looks like a great time!

- Jay

Dianne said...

that is freakin' fantastic!!

you look like a goddess of the deep :)

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Mike said...

My god that looks like fun.

Knight said...

Fiwa- The second I saw that hillbilly orgy photo I thought I might have blacked out part of the trip.

Jack- Right? It was so much better than real prom. I just wish I still owned my original prom dress. That would have been awesome.

Larson- We had a gay old time. My insurance salesman date was the coolest. Thankfully I didn't have to worry about that whole virginity issue this prom.

Mike- Uh…. If I could find a way through security… and access to a parasail maybe. Parasailing is pretty boring though. You mean hanggliding?

Micky-T- Now you have to plan your own. We can make this nationwide!

Spokalulu- I think it’s up to you. Get out your air mattress!

LL- I wanted to go with you but you never responded to my skywritten pleas for you to be my date. I was heartbroken.

Gary- Ha. Drunken unconscious mermaid maybe.

Jay- Being that you have women throwing themselves at you I’m assuming you choose to be the rebel that doesn’t attend prom.

Dianne- I probably floated right past you.

Delicious- Uh… thanks.

Mike- It was! Are you able to do this sort of thing up north or is it too cold for rafting in formal wear?

Dianne said...

I was thinking of you when I posted the pics of Jeffrey
I know you appreciate hin ;)

too bad he's married
I'd introduce you 2 in a heartbeat
then I could be your Mama :)

tiff said...

this looks like serious, serious fun. Even the orgy-ish bits. :)

Addman said...

This is the best prom I've ever seen. We just went to the local function and stood around looking bored. And I voted to have the first ever prom in zero gravity!

(Please be aware that my idea had nothing to do with the fact that girls skirts would float upwards in zero G. Honest!)

GMEyster said...

Love this!

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