Rafting Prom 2011!

In the year 2001 I spent one special day primping and stressing over the minute details of what was a barely remembered sort of annoying night. The event I attended was known to my high school senior class as Prom.  It didn’t suck but it wasn’t the amazing momentous occasion you are told to dream of either.

Two weeks ago I was at a friend’s birthday party being introduced to a sassy guy in a pink shirt as his prom date. He didn’t appreciate his date being forced upon him. I think he assumed I was a bitch. I assumed he was gay. I had no idea what this prom thing was so my friends explained that they had plans to get dressed in formal wear and then travel to a river in Jersey where they would ride down the river on air mattresses.  No way in hell was I going to miss this. It turns out pink shirt guy is not gay, just a bit of a hipster and we have a ton in common even though I am a bit of a bitch. I get to go to prom!

Ten years later the real prom of my dreams comes to life.  Hell, even the music was better. Listening to a bunch of freaks belt out Total Eclipse of the Heart while standing in a waterfall is a million times better than standing in a swaying circle of pubescent, crying, sex crazed youth singing American Pie.

Okay, okay it wasn’t prom. It was just a really awesome outing with crazy amazing people. Here, I’ll show you so you can feel left out. Just like your original prom.

 This is the full crew. Photo taken by random man in the forest with dog. 

The Ladies of the Lake

I'm keepin' it classy New Jersey!

The guys are lookin' mighty fine. 

Actually with me putting my dress on in the background it looks a little like a terrifying woodland after-orgy photo. 

Prom Photo! Knight and Date

   The Naughty Couple

The water looks oil filled but we didn't notice anything unusual. Thanks to the hurricane we almost cancelled the trip. We were afraid of flooding, hypothermia, dead bloated animals, cemetery bits, and 10,000 gallons of diesel fuel. 

 The Mighty Waterfall

Climbing the Waterfall (aka Tits and Ass photo)

I lost my shoe climbing the rock and sensing my weakness my date started stalking me in the wood.

 Carrying my dead body down the river like a gentleman. 

#Wehadfun

So it was a pretty great Labor Day weekend. Hey if anyone has any awesome ideas of amazing things to do I'm open to suggestions.

I'm Baaaaaaack

Hola!
Buenos Dias.

I'm tan and happy and had an awesome vacation full of free drinks at the swim up bar. The water was perfect and so was the company. I drunkenly sang at a couple of places with bands that didn't speak English. It was amazing. You should have been there.

I want to thank my mother for making me go on this vacation as well as buying me the bathing suite in the photo above. She also was kind enough to humor me and take some photos of me in the water so I could post them here for all of you. I personally think this action shot is hilarious.

She also took this gorgeous shot of the sunset.

It was odd sharing a room with my mother and brother when I'm used to living alone. We worked it out though. See, my brother loves me.

This photo of us is particularly hilarious because if you knew us you would know we aren't a touchy family. We don't hug or get near each other. Obviously this happened after a day of serious cocktail imbibing and I'm violently grabbing and shoving his face toward the camera. He never smiles. Actually, we made friends with that guy in the background and he told us that their group knew my brother as "The Angry Smoker" because he always looks pissed. Adorable, isn't it?

Some lovely person in our group talked us into taking a family picture and shockingly I think it turned out well. I'm betting this will be framed next time I visit the hometown.

The absolute craziest part about this vacation is that when I got home and got on the scale I found out I actually LOST weight while I was eating fatty buffet food all week. How in the hell did that happen? I guess Jet Skiing and that five minutes of water aerobics really worked out.

So as you can probably tell, I had an okay time. My mood has drastically improved. I did a lot of soul searching that made me realize I've got options and I'm a lucky girl.

Adios Muchachos!

I'm Baaaaa aaaaack!

It was glorious! I have not been this tan in so long. I can't even tell you how odd I feel every time I look at my own arms. The Bahamas were beautiful. We stayed on Paradise Island at a club and marina. Here is the view from our room deck.

Next to the boat you see in the picture was the yacht Kate Hudson was staying on. The crew was kind enough to open our fancy $8 bottle of wine for me and Case to enjoy while we hung out in a hammock by the pool.

We spent a lot of time at the beach Parasailing, Jet Skiing, and drinking rum drinks. The parasailing was beautiful but not exactly thrilling. The Jet Skiing was thrilling. You ride over crystal clear water at high speeds and catch a few waves to get in the air. Check out this beautiful water.

We found a stand that was serving drinks in a coconut and for $15 you get free refills all day. Mmmmmm.... Bahama Mama!


We also went snorkeling which was an incredible experience. They took us eight miles out to a coral reef. I saw a giant sting ray that scared the crap out of me. The cool bartender on the boat threw some chips in at me and Casey so all these little bright colored tropical fish came swarming around us in circles. It was beautiful. I have never experienced anything like that before. I wish I had pictures. Instead, here is a pic of me swimming.

Here is a sad little shot of the island as we flew away.

I'm sure I will have more later. Possibly even my first vlog at the aquarium.