Catching up with Online Therapy and Baked Sarcasm

I know I haven’t been around much but I don’t know what to say. I guess I’ll just use this as my therapy lounge per usual and throw out thoughts as they come to me.

I auditioned for a show last night. It was my first straight play audition in quite some time. I didn’t realize just how much I missed acting. I really hope I get to be a part of it. I'll let you know how that pans out. Creating a character and working from the actors side of the stage is something that my whole world used to revolve around. How did I get so distracted from something I loved that much?

It’s birthday week. Not my birthday week. Apparently it’s the birthday week of almost everyone I know though.  Okay, only nine close friends, three family members, and four of my eight coworkers.  The extent of my gift giving will probably be the cookies I just sent to my Dad. 

I really love the Bitter Baking Company.  

Here, use this link and get a discount.

In other news, I think I started developing feelings for someone that I shouldn’t. That’s awkward. Don’t worry, I’ll never tell. I won’t tell them and I won’t tell you. I’ll just bottle it up until it goes away… or until I develop feelings even more obscure than these. Oh life, how you suck.

FIVE YEARS

I can't believe I've been writing this thing for FIVE YEARS already. Sure it has been off and on. Blog friends have come and gone. I have to say though, it's been one hell of a ride! Sometimes I think the people that know me best are the people that read my blog. Hell, it's FIVE YEARS of my life documented. So to all of you reading, thank you. You are keeping me ever so slightly on the inside of the sanity line.

xoxo
-Knight

Hello My Loves

VD Has come and gone. It’s the Day of Valentine’s and Venereal Disease. I hope you enjoyed yours!

Mine was perfectly lovely for the most part.

Negative Points of Evil Corporate Love Day:

I had a seizure in the morning. The first one Mike was ever witness to. It seems it was very mild.

I was late to work and in pain most of the day.

My ex was writing shit that pertained to me on Facebook and generally it seems he feels very sorry for himself which affects me negatively because I can’t stop reaching out.

A friend’s mother is very close to passing away.

Positive Points of Evil Corporate Love Day:

Mom sent me Egyptian cotton bedding and new pillows!

I had a date Monday night with Mike at Fatty Crab and we ripped apart a sea creature together. 

I was asked to buy flowers and candy for the office so we had a hideous bouquet and red velvet cupcakes.

I sent out little messages to at least a dozen friends.

The first Lodge Meeting in months was held at 5:30. It was beautiful.

My gorgeous friends Mojo and Lisa invited me over to their fest of bubbly, chocolate, and cheese spread. We drank and laughed while talking over a fundraiser coming up soon.

I got home at 1am.

The good outweighs the bad.

Not such a terrible holiday this time around and it’s all thanks to my many bitchin’ friends!

Happy hump holiday to you.

- Knight

Art & Familial Pride

I’m fairly certain that I am looking at a self-portrait of my brother’s girlfriend’s vagina.

Now you are too.

Don’t worry, it is art. You see, my brother’s girlfriend is an extremely talented artist in Chicago. Apparently she just had an opening at some gallery and several of her amazing pieces are on display. Since her pieces are beautiful paintings of vaginas, technically her naughty bits are on display. You wouldn’t assume that is what you are looking at but I get the inside scoop from my brother.  So today when I noticed he changed his Facebook profile picture to a painting I realized…. that’s a vagina.

They sell for quite a bit of money. We considered trying to purchase a small painting as a Christmas gift to go with the bacon lube we gave our grandmother. Unfortunately it was too expensive.  I’ll just buy her a mirror and tell her to look at her own. Is that inappropriate? Have I gone too far? Yes. Yes I have.

In other news, my mother was voted Queen Groundhog by her Rotary Club. This amazing picture of people dressing her up with teeth and fur made one of the local newspapers. 

Everyone harassed her that entire day. I’m so proud!