Things.

It’s my birthday week. I will turn 28 on Thursday.

I spent Memorial Day weekend roller skating and cleaning my apartment.

I spent $50 at CVS on cleaning supplies. That’s how gross my apartment was.

This weekend I was told, “I think you are an idiot for not wanting to be with me.” Twice.

I bought a ticket to a Turkish bath this morning.

I’m feeling incredibly melancholy and I’m not sure if it’s the guilt of the ex or the birthday blues.

Hopefully my annual party in the park this Saturday will be as awesome as prior years.

Okay, that isn’t my party. That is an anti-war sit in. It’s in the same location though.

My day job got weird. Last week I found myself folding the underwear of a 15 year old girl.

Today I work on getting quotes for a woodworking project.

I dyed my eyelashes yesterday. I’ve never done that before and I probably risked blinding myself.

I’m always surrounded by people and yet I feel lonely.

The first waxing of the season is seriously painful.

I never did finish my tattoo design. I will though. Too bad I didn’t make the deadline.

Why can’t I find black flowers? I wanted to get myself a birthday flower but bodegas don’t carry my color.

I just got a craving for a cigar. If only I were a male advertising executive in the 1950’s. Then I would already be smoking one.

That is all.

Hmmmmm......

My computer is a little bitch and doesn't turn on most of the time. I beat her profusely and still she refuses to obey. Because of her disobedience my life has been hard to chronicle and share with you. As you may know by now, I have little to no memory and forget what I did just an hour ago. That might be an exaggeration but it certainly is hard to keep track of things when you don't have much order to your life. So let's see what you might have missed.... hmmm.....

Last weekend I went camping in the Poconos with some friends. We spent one day White Water Rafting in the freezing rain. It was awesome and miserable. It rained that whole night at the campsite which made our raging campfire smoke even more. I invented the SMOKEBAG to protect my precious eyes. Basically I wore my hooded plastic poncho backwards. Yes, it is hard to breath with plastic covering your face. I was sharing a tent with a really gorgeous chick and her wet dog. As hot as that might sound I can assure you it wasn't. We did giggle like schoolgirls at the sound of our friends getting it on a few tents away. It was like Girl Scouts all over again. Hmmmm....

Last week Sky surprised me by telling me to be at a certain location by 5:30 and when I arrived they informed me he got me an aromatherapy manicure and pedicure. He isn't really the type to do this sort of thing so it really shocked me. How sweet right? Now I must wonder what he did wrong. Hmmmm....

I think I did lots of other things this week but they must have been comparatively insignificant. So what do we have to look forward to in the week to come? Let's check the calendar. Selling more collagen and the annual Pap Smear. Hmmmm...

The Holidays - A Break?

The Holidays are so damn busy. I went to visit the family in my hometown for six days and I feel like I was there for only three. Too bad it doesn't go by that quickly when I'm at work.

I flew out on Tuesday and was lucky enough to be on the only flight that wasn't canceled that day. My luggage wasn't as lucky but it only took an extra day to get it. Oh well. On Christmas eve my Mother's side of the family meets at my Grandmother's house where we eat a meal of Mexican food and take a twenty minute break to open gifts. I somehow got out of the clean up crew this year because I was busy upstairs wrapping the gifts for my parents. It isn't that difficult because there are only ten of us so I don't feel bad. I think we were out of there by eight.

Christmas morning is the best. It's just me, my parents, and my brother. Mom didn't feel like pulling the fake tree out of the attic this year which is fine with us. After we moved away she bought a very modern fake tree and she leaves all the decorations on, throws a big bag over it, and stores it that way. We don't really care if there is a tree or not as long as we have champagne. We drink mimosas and eat quiche while opening gifts and this year Cold Case Files was on TV. That gives the room ambiance while we thank each other for whatever we got.

I got some really fantastic gifts. One of which was a photo shoot with Teresa at Wiz of Oz Photography. I never got out of the dress up stage of life so this was the most fun I could imagine having. I told Teresa I was up for whatever since I didn't have any intention of using the photos for something specific. She put me in this black dress she found at Goodwill and the next thing I know I have a new header for my blog! I have seen about four of the photos so far and will get the rest in a couple months. Here is one of my favorites.


Later Christmas day we usually celebrate with my Dad's side of the family but all my cousins got married and started having babies so it is harder to get together. We went to visit my grandparents and saw a few relatives. My aunt's cooky boyfriend never even came into the house to say hello to anyone. He hid outside. We were not offended or anything but it was pretty funny. Christmas night we always spent tearing down all the decorations during my childhood. Since there weren't any this year we just cooked a huge meal. That was a pleasant change. While the rest of my family tried to digest and started passing out, I went out with an old friend for a drink. This was the only time I bothered to do that this year. The longer I'm gone the more I lose touch.

Friday night we went to a dueling piano bar. It was fun but the guys playing sort of sucked. Saturday my grandmother helped me put black streaks in my hair. She is a good sport. That evening we had dinner with her and her boyfriend.

My flight to Chicago was canceled due to Mechanical problems and they told me I couldn't get on another one until Tuesday. That isn't okay. I had to wake my brother up (he only had three hours of sleep) and ask him to drive me to Chicago right away. He lives in Chicago so this isn't that big of a deal. He just wasn't planning to leave for another five or six hours. Luckily I made a flight out of Chicago and was able to get home sweet home last night.

That brings us to date. Next I will tell you about my new nephew.

It's a Drug

Last night I went out to dinner with my good friend A. She was coming from her big screen premiere that she didn't invite anyone to but from the sound of it everything went beautifully. She was in good spirits as was I so after some humus and a drink or two we headed to Union Square where we sat on the steps smoking cigars. We talked about plenty of things but mostly about our mutual love for the city. Around twelve thirty I decided I better get home and wash the smoke off so I could get to work on time the next morning. She went downtown to sip juleps with her lover. We were on a seasonal city buzz. It's the energy. It takes over you like a drug. At one point in the evening A. introduced me to this song:



I was hooked immediately. First of all I have always been a fan of George Orwell's 1984. This was an interesting twist of what he was saying. I thought I should share it with you all in the off chance someone might find it as amusing as I did.

"Happiness? A good cigar, a good meal, a good cigar and a good woman - or a bad woman; it depends on how much happiness you can handle." -George Burns

How much do Morticians make?

It's been a long weekend. On Friday I neglected to post anything because I got a little distracted researching Okeh records. Interesting, but I don't feel like writing about it. I forgot to mention that last Tuesday I went to Smoke for the first time. I like it. Not at all what I was expecting. I was with two friends sitting in the back corner with a bottle of wine. The place is cozy and very small. I'll have to write a post all about this venue at some point. It's got some history.

This weekend I saw an early evening cabaret. I had not intended to go and was invited last minute to the Metropolitan Room. I'm so glad that happened! The name of the singer was Suzanne Fiore and she performed with percussion, piano, and bass. Everyone was incredible. The music director was the pianist and some of the music transitions were so seamless and beautifully written I actually gasped. Suzanne has a very expressive face and a lovely voice with a Joni Mitchell quality about it. I absolutely loved the room and the show. The whole thing was uplifting and inspiring.
Now that I am inspired again I'm researching Marion Harris who is considered to be the first female Jazz singer ever recorded. She was a white jazz and blues singer that supposedly sang so well people sometimes thought she was colored. This obviously only happened through recording because the tiny blonde seemed to be the epitome of a flapper.
She started singing around 1910 and was brought to New York by a Broadway producer to star in the show "Stop! Look! Listen!" She did many films through the 20's and moved to London in the 30's where she performed cabarets and radio shows.
It's time for what is now my favorite thing to learn about Jazz artists. How they died. Marion returned to the United States after her house was destroyed in World War II. This amazing woman with an incredible career covering all spectrums died in her Marquise Hotel bed from burns. She had fallen asleep with a lit cigarette in her mouth.
Yep. I'm going to be that freak that knows how everyone died. I don't know why that fascinates me so much. Maybe I should have pursued a career as a mortician.