Things.

It’s my birthday week. I will turn 28 on Thursday.

I spent Memorial Day weekend roller skating and cleaning my apartment.

I spent $50 at CVS on cleaning supplies. That’s how gross my apartment was.

This weekend I was told, “I think you are an idiot for not wanting to be with me.” Twice.

I bought a ticket to a Turkish bath this morning.

I’m feeling incredibly melancholy and I’m not sure if it’s the guilt of the ex or the birthday blues.

Hopefully my annual party in the park this Saturday will be as awesome as prior years.

Okay, that isn’t my party. That is an anti-war sit in. It’s in the same location though.

My day job got weird. Last week I found myself folding the underwear of a 15 year old girl.

Today I work on getting quotes for a woodworking project.

I dyed my eyelashes yesterday. I’ve never done that before and I probably risked blinding myself.

I’m always surrounded by people and yet I feel lonely.

The first waxing of the season is seriously painful.

I never did finish my tattoo design. I will though. Too bad I didn’t make the deadline.

Why can’t I find black flowers? I wanted to get myself a birthday flower but bodegas don’t carry my color.

I just got a craving for a cigar. If only I were a male advertising executive in the 1950’s. Then I would already be smoking one.

That is all.

I’m taking my blog back.

Some friends and relatives of mine still read my blog and that is fantastic but I’ve realized that I definitely hold back on what I would like to post because I’m afraid of how they might take it. Well, I’m done now. I’m taking my blog back. It’s mine and it’s personal and I’m going to post about whatever the f*#$* I want. So, if you are one of those friends or relatives and you think this change might affect our relationship in the negative, you should probably stop reading now. Thanks.

Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

I have a lot of catching up to do here. In the past couple months I started Assistant Directing for The Trojan Women. It’s going really well and I think it will be amazing. I’m in rehearsal all the damn time. It’s awesome. In addition to that I’ve been singing in a terrible cover band. I get paid. That is awesome as well. A couple months back I realized I wanted to be single and broke it off with Sky. When he was coming back from tour I was a nervous wreck. Neither of us knew how seeing each other for the first time was going to play out. I was afraid he was going to be an asshole and pick a fight with me but he was shockingly understanding. It turned out to be fine and we are getting along. I’ve been seeing other people and I’m really enjoying the freedom. The strange thing about suddenly being single is that everyone is hitting on me. People I thought were innocent friends are declaring their long-time crushes on me and the other day two brothers in their 80’s were fighting over which one of their 57 year old sons would be a better match for me. What the hell? Now I remember why I keep ending up in relationships. It’s scary out there! It’s scary and I can’t keep myself out of trouble.

My birthday is coming up. I keep finding out that all my old friends aren’t coming. It’s a good thing I have so many new friends or I would be sitting in the park alone. The new friends may not know me as well but if they will show up then I will be loyal to them and return the favor. People really suck. Don’t they know you are supposed to cherish your friendships? Because especially in this city, it’s all we’ve got.

New Ink

Tattoo ink that is.

Of course I'm not putting this on me. I'm not an artist and I would never allow something that it took me 8 seconds to draw to become a permanent part of my body.

That being said...

I'm in the market for a simplistic black rose to put on the back of my neck. I have a pretty good idea of what I want to happen and I need someone else to make it come to life for me. Surprisingly enough I don't currently have any friends that are tattoo artists. I need to work on that. So as soon as I get all that figured out I'm getting my rose. Don't worry mom. You'll learn to love it.

Getting new ink always seems to come for me at a time of big change. The significance of the rose will mean more to me personally than I could ever possibly explain here. I know Dana knows what I'm talking about. Perhaps I'll tell you more when I've actually got it on my skin.

There. Now I'm committed.

If any of you have suggestions I'm all ears. Nah, I take that back. Unless you're an amazingly badass artist like BSOB ...don't scare me out of this idea. Mooog, don't bother sending me a drawing of your man bits. I only accept pictures of the real thing. That goes for the rest of you too.

Totally Inappropriate

I may be a total narcissist but I'm single and taking applications.

My Insanity Is Showing

*Click to Enlarge*

FYI

Graphic signs of the Schizoid
Vigilant and tense handwriting
Extremely strong pressure
Angels
Arcades
Separation
Narrowness
Extremely wide spaces between words or identical to the spaces between letters
Covering strokes
Emphasized upper zone
Left of upright slant
Frozen
Tense strokes
High upper zone
Large or extreme height differentials
At times - a weak stroke
Secondary narrowness
Angular connections
Similar to the "autistic type" by Odem
Emphasize of the beginning
Rhythmic writing
Covering the whole page
Strange ending of letters
"Invented" letters
Twisted letters
Broken letters
Corrections, especially "artistic corrections"
Abundance of punctuation marks or lack of them
Slow writing
Peculiarities and exaggeration
Printed letters

Doesn't this apply to just about everybody? I personally enjoyed THIS SITE.

Maynard Gets Her Mane Cut (and you can too)

I can’t believe how chaotic life has suddenly become. It’s just enough to keep me moving and loving it. This past weekend kicked off with a table read rehearsal for The Trojan Women. We talked mythology until our jaws went numb. Afterwards I went with some of the hot lady cast members to the pub where we drank and danced the hours away. Well, we didn’t really dance all that much.

I woke up on Saturday ante meridiem with music on the mind. I had to get downtown to rehearsal with a rock and roll cover band. There is something about being in the rehearsal studio with the full band blasting that gets my adrenaline pumped right out my vocal chords. I always leave in the absolute best mood.

After rehearsal I wandered into a salon to get my mane trimmed. It was out of control. My hair was so long that it was brushing my lower back. I told the woman to do whatever the hell she wanted. After cutting off six inches of hair she said “See, you have a clean line now. You used to have a whip!” Now that I think of it as a whip I miss it. I do think its funny/sad I can cut off six inches of hair and nobody notices the difference. They just ask if I got my hair lightened.

This is the before picture. On the right side it's darker but it reaches down to the B in Bud.

This is a terribly fuzzy photo of the after hair but it's the only one I've taken thus far. So deal with it.

Then I met up with a couple friends and enjoyed myself into the wee small hours of the morning.

Sunday I met a crew of lovely folk for bowling. I think I’ve been bowling all of twice in the past eight years and they were both within the last month. The first time I bowled under the name Anne BOWLeyn. I was terrible. I mean it was embarrassing. This time I thought perhaps I should use the name that won me a trophy the last time I was on a league. Oh yes, I was on a league. I was still a fetus at the time but they considered me a member and dubbed me MAYNARD. My fetus bowling name was indeed Maynard and we rocked that leagues filthy socks off. So, I put Maynard up on that board and guess what, I WON! Granted it’s not the best score ever. It’s not even my best. But I still won.

We finished up the day with karaoke and then I fell asleep. Sweet dreams. Not exactly, I was dreaming about some freak that was stalking me. All in a good weekend though, right kids? SIGH, Back to work!

Tree Fetish

I’ve always had a big fascination with trees. They are intricate beings which always have a way of perplexing and inspiring me. Often times they can be quite calming which brings a favorite quote of mine to mind.

“Paradise is when nothing comes between the eye and the tree.” – Elie Wiesel

I always think of this quote as I’m lying on a beach admiring a palm tree with nothing but blue in the distance. It’s the perfect Corona commercial.

Living in New York I’m obviously not surrounded by an excess of nature. I go to the park when I can and enjoy the extra oxygen. One of my favorite things about my neighborhood on the Upper West Side is the trees lining the streets. I was walking up Broadway on my way home from work yesterday and finally we had some sun shining through the buildings. With the filthy city rain finally cleared up I was able to look up and see the blooming trees just starting to feel the light hit them.

I’m a very busy girl so I only stopped to enjoy the beauty of the season long enough to snap a quick shot with my Droid. Then I pranced off to the bar where I belong. My breed isn’t allowed to stay in the light too long you know. We are night dwellers. Even at night those fresh blooms look amazing in the street lights. My spirits are lifted.