Why do I refuse to take care of myself?

That show I’ve been working on for the past couple months finally opened last weekend. We have seven more performances and so far the reviews have been pretty good.

Review 1
Review 2
Review 3
Review 4

I’m thrilled with how well everyone pulled together. It has been a great group of people that didn’t cause a huge amount of backstage drama. You know what bitches actors can be. I think for the most part nobody hates anybody else… yet. Overall I’m proud to have been a part of this show.

I let the stress of the show and other aspects of my personal life get the best of me. I probably did more than my share of grunt work and then tied that into going out to celebrate after rehearsals/shows plus a general lack of sleep. I have guilt and anxiety swimming through my veins thanks to this whole not knowing how to be single thing. With all that it wasn’t a huge surprise that I had two bad seizures last week.

I think the seizure/demons shook something loose in my brain because I’ve been a pretty emotional wreck since the last one. After the first I was okay because it had been ten weeks since my last grand mal seizure and other than being generally sore I seemed fine. The second one was worse. I was alone so I’m not sure what happened but I know I woke up on the floor in a puddle. I have some nasty cuts along my left knuckles and on my feet. My shoe closet is broken so my best guess is that I actually hit it apart while convulsing. I bit my tongue so bad that it started to turn black. That was the most disgusting of all.

Well, tonight I’m going to party like its 1999. That was a sleepy suggestion given to me this very morning. At the time I thought, “go back to sleep you crazy bastard” but now that I think it through it’s a good plan. I figure in 1999 I was 16 and I still had a curfew. So tonight I’m going to bed like a good girl and not sneaking out the balcony and into my boyfriend’s car. (Don’t worry mom, that only happened a couple times and obviously I never got knocked up or arrested.)

No wonder I have problems.

Another Day in the Knight Life

Saturday was a fun day. I woke up in my closet of an apartment at 8am and prepared for a day I knew just might kill me. I packed my outfits and props for the day. (That makes me sound like an escort but alas it wasn’t that kind of day.) I took a couple chugs of leftover bloody mary in a jug. Then I headed for the M60 Bus that carries me through Manhattan and over to Queens.

In Queens I met up with the director of the show I’ve been assistant directing for the past couple of months. We talked about her cats. Then we prepared for our preview showing of The Trojan Women which was held outside in the rain at the Beer Garden. We watched as our darling actors sat out in that miserable weather protected by the burlap burkas. Poor babies. Then we ate kielbasa while chugging beer for a few hours.

When that fun was over four of us took the props and trash back to cat lady director’s house where I styled her fire red hair into a hot 40’s look. We drank screwdrivers and talked about… cats. Oh, and my engagement to one of them. (I only do it to make the other jealous.) Did I mention that we are four of the hottest females ever? Well, the three of them are at least. It’s ridiculous. I would show you pictures but I don’t have consent. Seriously hot AND all of us are single.

What was I talking about? Oh yeah, so I changed into a hot black dress and ran off to my friend’s birthday dinner in Hell’s Kitchen. I’m an idiot so I was late. Then we went to a gay bar we have frequented way too much over the years. I think that is what we did. I’m a little fuzzy at this point. They agreed to come with me to another bar even further downtown to watch the premier of the web series I have a cameo in. So we got in a cab.

We are now in a bar that I used to work near so I say hello to all my buddies that are working and proceed to the back room where they are about to screen the first three episodes of WHITE LIARS. Only episode one is live. They are coming out every other Monday and I’m in three so watch for it! I have to admit, episode three is the best and not just because I’m giving someone a lap dance in it.

EPISODE ONE


After the screening I think I got in a biting fight with someone because my arms are all bruised. I was just being playful. Then a friend of mine got a little too drunk and when some asshole called him a “fat f&$#” he decided to discuss the matter further outside. I thought this was embarrassing because the drunken ass who said the wrong thing was now surrounded by all my guy friends including the manager telling him he needed to leave immediately. I really hope this doesn’t become a theme in my life. The bar fight was only interesting once.

It probably isn’t too surprising that I didn’t feel fantastic on Sunday morning. All in a day though. All in a day.

I’m taking my blog back.

Some friends and relatives of mine still read my blog and that is fantastic but I’ve realized that I definitely hold back on what I would like to post because I’m afraid of how they might take it. Well, I’m done now. I’m taking my blog back. It’s mine and it’s personal and I’m going to post about whatever the f*#$* I want. So, if you are one of those friends or relatives and you think this change might affect our relationship in the negative, you should probably stop reading now. Thanks.

Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

I have a lot of catching up to do here. In the past couple months I started Assistant Directing for The Trojan Women. It’s going really well and I think it will be amazing. I’m in rehearsal all the damn time. It’s awesome. In addition to that I’ve been singing in a terrible cover band. I get paid. That is awesome as well. A couple months back I realized I wanted to be single and broke it off with Sky. When he was coming back from tour I was a nervous wreck. Neither of us knew how seeing each other for the first time was going to play out. I was afraid he was going to be an asshole and pick a fight with me but he was shockingly understanding. It turned out to be fine and we are getting along. I’ve been seeing other people and I’m really enjoying the freedom. The strange thing about suddenly being single is that everyone is hitting on me. People I thought were innocent friends are declaring their long-time crushes on me and the other day two brothers in their 80’s were fighting over which one of their 57 year old sons would be a better match for me. What the hell? Now I remember why I keep ending up in relationships. It’s scary out there! It’s scary and I can’t keep myself out of trouble.

My birthday is coming up. I keep finding out that all my old friends aren’t coming. It’s a good thing I have so many new friends or I would be sitting in the park alone. The new friends may not know me as well but if they will show up then I will be loyal to them and return the favor. People really suck. Don’t they know you are supposed to cherish your friendships? Because especially in this city, it’s all we’ve got.

Delurkify

It's national Delurking Day in blog land. If by chance there is anyone reading this today is the day to leave a comment and make yourself known! Anyone? Bueller?
*Credit to Rude Cactus for creation of Delurking Day.

Last Thursday night I went to a hypnotism show. Casey decided to participate and did many an amusing thing including playing butt guitar and making love to a chair that he was calling a chicken. He remembers everything and felt more like he was playing along rather than doing things unintentionally. Yeah, I'm glad I stayed in the audience. It was hilarious.

Spamalot (The Monty Python Musical) had it's final show on Broadway last night. I went in 2005 while the show was still in previews with the original cast and then again last night. It was really exciting to see the final show with Eric Idle coming up on stage after the curtain call and giving a speach thanking everyone. He asked all people in the audience that had been a part of the show at any point to come up. David Hyde Pierce was there and looking, well, sort of pale and scary. It was a great experience. I've never been at the closing night of a Broadway show. It's bitter sweet.

Did any lurkers show up yet? Reveal yourselves!

As Promised

Even though the video I'm attaching here doesn't sound very good I'm going to share it with you as promised. It was recorded by a friend that was sitting in the audience and we had no idea he was taping. We had just pulled this adorable guy in the video out of the audience.



Watching the videos is a little awkward because you miss what ties everything together. It feels a little empty without the banter. In addition to that, I can't stand hearing all the mistakes and watching myself trip over all the cords on stage. I would have completely forgotten about my shoe coming off if it hadn't have been recorded. This is probably why I never got all that interested in film. I can't even commit to posting a vlog most of the time.

Grrr. My work phone is ringing. Must go.

Holiday Coquettes

The show is over. I think it went fairly well. Of course there were a couple tiny problems but we made it through and I think for the most part people had a good time. Especially when we had a lingerie gift exchange on stage and passed out condoms and pills to the audience. I have not seen all of the pictures yet but here are a couple to share.

Some of you mentioned you might like to see a video. Well, I have good news for you. There are a couple of videos available. Right now they are stuck on Facebook until I find a way to get the files from my friend but eventually I will post them here.

I need to get back to work now. Time to start on the next show!

Cereal and Lightning

Sorry I’m MIA so frequently. Things have been crazy. The show on Friday went well. There isn’t a whole lot to say about it except you missed out. I got free candy. No, nobody recorded anything. Sorry.

On Saturday morning Casey and I woke up and decided it was a lovely day for irreparable body damage/art. I’m talking about tattoos. This was my third one; however, you might say I’ve been under the needle four times because I had one changed a few years after it was originally done. This time around we went to a cool little place in the East Village that was recommended by a friend of mine. It had Victorian couches and really interesting/ unusual jewelry on display. It must have been the coolest parlor I’ve ever been in. Want to see what I got?


Luckily I had this picture in my sent mail. Otherwise I would have never gotten around to posting something. If you can’t tell, this is my lower back and all those odd marks are where the tape from the bandage wouldn’t come off.

So that was my Saturday day. After this I went to discuss my next show with Ava before she went in to work. We got very little done but did have a good drink. Have you ever tried port cider? Holy crap that’s good! Then I went home to get in my flapper costume for the party Saturday night. It was kind of cute I must admit. The party was a little wild and the dude who throws this annual shindig brews beer so I had some amazing pumpkin ale to boot! At some point I recall a bag of fruit loops being ripped open and dumped down my face all over the floor. Clearly we are rock stars.

I think that was the last thing worth mentioning. I’ll try to be back soon.

SEX and CANDY

You know what you should do this Halloween? Come see me perform!

It's a great line up and if that doesn't do it for ya, I'll hardly be wearing a thing. Come see for yourself.

Also, The Parodivas wrote my bio for me and it is really hot.

"Carly Knight is the hottest new jazz chanteuse to hit the New York stage in the past 30 minutes. Her sensual renditions of the hits of the bygone days of croony standards not only melt butter, but also margarine and straight mens' hearts. Look out here she comes."

Mmmmargarine. That was nice. So... I figure yall will soon get bored of me trying to sell myself. I expect to be vlogging very soon. Until then, Ta'

Shows and Whatnot

This month is kicking off fast. I had a busy weekend of Celebrating Jason's B-day after his Parodivas show Thursday night and Karaoke for his birthday Friday night (they kept trying to find our hidden liquor but they failed!). Saturday night I cooked a tasty lasagna with my lover boy Casey. We then ate the meal while watching Spinal Tap with his roommate Billy. Billy had never seen the movie. If you have never seen Spinal Tap you are really missing out so make sure you put it at the top of your to do list. Then on Sunday I went to Jason's B-day brunch. Unlimited drinks with Mexican food is the proper way to celebrate a birthday.

The show the Parodivas performed in on Thursday night was On The Rocks with Danny Leary. He did a little raffle and Jason's boytoy friend won two tickets to Iridium Jazz Club. He gave them to me!!! Well, after the Parodivas told him to. So Parodiva Darla went with me to the 10pm show on Monday night to see LES PAUL perform. It was amazing! I had a huge smile through the whole show and I even developed a little crush on Les. If you don't know anything about him, here is a little blurb taken from the Iridium website.

"Les Paul , Rock and Roll Hall of Famer, five-time Grammy Award winner, pioneer of the electric guitar and inventor of numerous recording tech-niques, such as reverb and multi-track recording was born June 9, 1915 in Waukesha Wisconsin."

That's right. I spent Monday night watching a hell of a show performed by a 93 year old man in a turtleneck. He flirted with his hot young bass player and jammed with a couple surprise guests. It was fantastic. If you get the chance to see this man I recommend you take it.

Yesterday I read what was possibly the best blog post ever written. Matt-Man at Bagwine Ruminations proposed to the lovely Schmoop via blog and we all waited anxiously in the comments for her to go on lunch break at work and respond. Luckily for Matt-Man she said yes (even if it ruins her credit score.) Congratulations Bagwine Lovers!

Tonight I'm going to some sort of 80's wrestling party. I have no idea what that means but at least I will have a story for later.

Are you busy on Halloween? You should come hear me sing at Don't Tell Mama 9pm Halloween night. The Parodivas are hosting a show and asked me to perform. It will be an amazing time, I promise you.

Go ahead, write it into your datebook. ;)

What's Goin' On

I skated to Central Park yesterday to hang out and get some sun. I only got about ten blocks and thought I was going to pass out. How could I be so out of shape? I didn't realize how humid it was so I had to sit down and get water in my system. Turns out most people had the sense not to go to the park on such a gross day. I didn't get any tan lines but I left covered in sweat and ready for a nap. Isn't it autumn?

I'm working on a Holiday show with my friend Ava. Previously referred to as A. We went to that music and dramatic school together about seven years ago and then lived together for four years. We have worked on doing a show several times before and never actually performed it. This time I'm really booking the show and if she bails I will just do it by myself. I'm not sure how to pull off the duets but I'll figure it out. The set list is together and I'm excited to get this thing going. We know each other very well and we are a lot alike so it's easy to write. Hopefully everything will go as planned and I can write more about it later on.

No, I have not watched any football.

I'm really sick of/from Politics.

Long As God Can Grow It, My HAIR!

Holy love making musical gloriousness my friends! Last night I saw the musical HAIR at the Public Theatre in Central Park. It was incredible! I left with such a buzz from the excitement I was wondering if they somehow slipped drugs to the audience.

I'm a theatre snob so every time the directing seems a little off or the character isn't totally there I take notice and ruin the moment for myself but I have to tell you, this story is so damn good you love it no matter what.

Let me tell you the set up of the stage. The Public Theatre is outside and is fairly small. The stage is level with the first row of seats making the whole show feel very intimate. All you see on stage as far as a set goes is grass and at the back a little paint splattered raised section for the band. The cast spent a lot of time running around the audience and getting you involved. At the end it turned into a giant dance party. It was one of those moments where my head spins in circles and I keep saying "Is this really happening?" Only in New York!

Before the show began the director gave a speech saying how this is the 40th Anniversary of Hair and so much has changed since the original production. He went on to compare the war we are in now to the war we were in then and gee do they sound similar. It certainly brings a whole new perspective to the show. The draft may be gone but we are still watching children die for us. That isn't completely what the show is about though. It's about bohemian life, sexual revolution, poverty, racism, religion, environmentalism, politics, and the youth of America. Just to name a few.

I truly love this show in every way. I think it can be summed up pretty well in the following quote:

"...be free, no guilt, be whoever you are, do whatever you want, just as long as you don't hurt anyone."

Why can't we all live by that? Why do we get class, skin color, religion, and various other crap in the way? I better not get started on that topic. I will leave you with a video of one of my favorite bits from the show. This is from the movie version.

Weekend Overview

Too much happening. No time to blog. Or, I'm just too lazy to make time.

Friday night I went uptown to Casey's apt. I brought the makings for rice krispie treats and because the grocery store had the brilliant foresight to place generic marshmallows next to Chimay, I brought a bottle of that as well. Then we sat around with Billy and Mark eating Chinese food and watching... well... it would be inappropriate to say what we were watching.

Saturday night was filled with ex-coworkers, one of my favorite dive bars, and the announcement that StumpsAround did an AMAZING job on the GMATS. Good work lady!

I woke up yesterday to a text informing me Casey was called into work early. That sucks. It's the guys freakin birthday and they call him in to a twelve hour shift. Sorry babe. So instead of seeing him I went to brunch with A. She invited me to see the hipster version of Much Ado About Nothing. It sounds like it would be horrible, but honestly it was pretty funny. When you think about it, this modernization is really obvious. Some of the actors were really exciting to watch. They had creative ideas that kept you guessing. Some of it was just silly nonsense that distracted you from the story. At intermission I got a text from Doodle offering me a free ticket to In the Heights which recently moved to Broadway. Of course I went. I wasn't sure if I was going to like this show but it is really different from what I was expecting. It's about living in Washington Heights and the main character is a bodega worker from the Dominican Republic that raps his songs. The music was great but the story line was odd. I didn't care though. I got too distracted by the nut next to me that started sobbing and then picking her nose.

So I didn't get a chance to write over the weekend but could you do me a favor please? Could you help end global violence against women? I know that sounds like a lot but just being aware helps.

Tying Things Together

I mentioned on Saturday's post that I was headed out to see a musical in New Jersey. NYCeCe has a friend on The Wedding Singer tour that is currently showing in Newark. We traveled out there with Alex! who I'm sure will be posting a review shortly. Overall I think the show in general sort of sucks. I'm really glad I went and was thankful for the free ticket but the writing is bad and I can't remember a single song. I went to a musical theater academy. I'm supposed to remember the freakin' songs. I have a tendency to pick what roll is for me in every musical and in this show it is clearly the rocker fiancee Lynda that ditches the lead guy at the alter. The show may not be good but I still want to play a roll like that. It's my alter ego. Only not so far off from my regular ego.

On Sunday I mentioned I bought a new book on my way home from brunch. When I went into the bookstore I didn't have anything specific in mind but then I saw the book I got my brother for Christmas. He requested it but I thought it looked interesting so I got it for myself this time. It is The God Delusion. Perfect gift to celebrate Christ's birth, I know. Anyway, I'm excited about the book. I think it will be somewhat enlightening. On a similar note, I got an e-mail forward from GMeyster that was amusing. I would like to share it with you.


CAN'T I OWN CANADIANS?

Dr. Laura Schlessinger is a radio personality who dispenses advice to people who call in to her radio show. Recently, she said that, as an observant Orthodox Jew, homosexuality is an abomination according to Leviticus 18:22 and cannot be condoned under any circumstance. The following is an open letter to Dr. Laura penned by an East Coast resident. It was posted on the Internet and is both funny and informative.

Dear Dr. Laura:

Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law. I have learned a great deal from your show, and try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination. End of debate. I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some of the other specific laws and how to follow them.

When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord (Lev.1:9). The problem is my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?

I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?

I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanliness (Lev.15:19-24). The problem is, how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.

Lev. 25:44 states that I may indeed possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this only applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can't I own Canadians?

I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly
states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself?

A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination (Lev. 11:10), it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this?

Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I am pretty nearsighted and also have to wear a bifocal. I'm useless without my glasses, but can see 20/20 with them. Does my vision have to be 20/20 without glasses, or is there some wiggle room here?

Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by (Lev. 19:27). How should they be put to death?

I know from (Lev. 11:6-8) that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?

My uncle has a farm and plants climbing beans to run up his cornstalks. He obviously violates (Lev. 19:19) by planting two different crops in the same field. Also, so does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (a cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? (Lev.24:10-16).
Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affair like we do with
people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)

I know you have studied these things extensively, so I am confident you
can help. Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and
unchanging.

Your devoted fan,

Moishe

For the record, I'm not trying to push any religious ideas on my blog. I just thought this was funny.