Love Letter

My Love Letter to Moooooog35 (aka Midget Man of Steel) As Promised

Dearest Moooooog35,

You are my hero, my endless love, my fantasy.

There are so many reasons to worship you like a sassy Egyptian Cat. 

Your convenient height leaves your face nestled right at chest level.

Your karate photos drive me wild. Just thinking about them has me hot with….wait a minute

I just noticed I’m not in your blog roll. WTF Moooooog? WTF?

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

I know I'm a bit early but I probably won't be back in time.


My resolutions for 2009 (to be promptly forgotten by 1:05 am) are the following:

1) Find work in life that makes me happy.

2) Stop having seizures...somehow.

3) Replace the lack of drinking with even more sex. (Casey, this is your job. Oh, and apologies to any of Casey's family members that read this and may be traumatized.)

4) Meet a blogger. Anyone want to help me out with this one?

5) Continue having a wonderful life full of great family, friends, and bloggers that brighten it up.

HAPPY NEW YEAR. Cheers!!!

Catch Up - The rest of the answers.

There is so much to catch up on but so little desire within me to write it all out. I'll do the brief version here and work my way back.
1) I still owe you the rest of the answers to your questions.
2) I spent Thanksgiving in Arizona with Casey's family so I'll give you the scoop on that.
3) I had another seizure over the weekend.
4) It's time to promote my December show!


kcinnova said...
What are the best and worst things about living in NYC?
If you could live anywhere else, where would it be?

Dear Kcinnova,
The best thing about living in NYC is the constant energy pulsating from the island. Something is always happening. A whole lot of people with different backgrounds and opinions are crammed on to an island together and because of that you get diverse culture, art, lifestyle, religion, beauty, etc. I could go on forever. The worst thing about NYC is …hmmm… I can’t think of anything. Oh wait, I got something… it gets really f’ing cold in the winter and I don’t like waiting in the cold for a train.
I assume if I lived somewhere else it would have to be in the U.S. since that is where my citizenship is and all. I’m very fond of San Francisco and New Orleans. I think that is where I would find the most comfort if forced to leave Manhattan.

Mike said...
If you gotta fart, really really bad, and you're surrounded by people, do you do it anyway?

And if you did, would you be embarrassed?

Dear Mike,
To be honest I don’t know that this has come up. How often are you so full of gas and surrounded by people that you couldn’t possibly get away from? I guess if there was no way to be polite and get away from the people I would do it anyway and no I don’t think I would be all that embarrassed.

TT said...
Ever thought about trying out for American Idol?

TT,
I have to admit that it probably crosses every singers mind at some point in time but I never seriously considered it. A few years ago I had the look they might have wanted but I don’t sing pop music. They expect you to sing a popular style and I'm just not good at the popular thing.

Awesome Bloggers

It's a vlog but it's a cheat vlog because I did a two for one. Check out all the sweet new swag.





Okay so I look a little crazy, I know. I can't hide it.

I want to thank Dana for the awesome shirt! It's my favorite color and everything. You rock. Pop rock. Yes I did choke a little so let that be a lesson to everyone that eating in moderation is key. Everyone go visit Dana at Amid Life's Crisis.

I want to thank Gary at Potter's Blog for the beautiful vase and mini pot. I'm so impressed with how talented he is. Go check out his work. You will love it. No really go. Go now!

I don't take the best pictures but you get the idea.

Checking In - Update

I don't really have time to do this right now but I'm giving an update anyway.

1) I updated my blogroll. If you are not on it I either A) Deleted you because you never post anything or B) Never added you because I forgot you existed. If any of you are terribly offended I omitted you from my Brilliance list just let me know and I will assess the situation.

2) My cousin was in town for the weekend. The family thought sending her to me for proper corruption the weekend before she leaves for college was a good idea. It was great. She met my friend who has a brand new job as a porn reviewer. A little person performed to Billie Jean in the Subway. She was able to watch my ugly neighbor shower not once but twice. As a welcome to New York memento she was given a cigarette burn by a hobo. It was all very memorable I'm sure.

3) I have a show Wednesday. You should come see it. Until all that is over I probably won't be back. Later Suckers.

Cooking Soup

I don't cook. I understand food and it's complexity. I love eating it. I just suck at making it. On occasion I feel the need to try making something because cooking a dinner can be fun and sometimes it works out great. I do this once, maybe twice a year. So I will state once again, I don't cook.

Last night I was at Casey's apartment with two friends. One is his roommate, the other is a weirdo we have both known and loved for years. I will call him Chad, because that is his name. So I bring over a couple ingredients for a gazpacho that Casey wants to try making. We are going to make this lovely soup, some scalloped potatoes from a box, and Chad brought 99cent bread from Traitor Joe's that we baked ourselves.

Things start off okay. We are chopping and mixing the ingredients like Bon Appetite told us to. I am stirring up the olive oil with what looks like butt-loads of tarragon but I'm following the recipe so I'm sure it is fine. Casey hands me all the crap I need to measure and mix including the salt and freshly ground pepper. I finish it up and I don't bother to taste it because it is a bowl full of oil and tarragon. Then Chad asks for the salt to add to the bread. When I try to hand it to him he rejects it and informs me by pointing to the large lettering that it is SUGAR. Crap. Oh well. Casey didn't read it either obviously but it does make me wonder how many times he has sugared his food and not realized it. This was just the beginning of our adventures.

Casey and Chad are both control freaks in the kitchen so I just stood there most of the time. That is the safest thing to do. I wasn't paying attention so I don't know how this happened but when it was time to strain the soup we discovered that what was supposedly enough for four servings made approximately one cup of soup. Hmmmm. I now have to assume one of the main problems was that I have no idea what 3 1/2 pounds of tomatoes would look like and I had to depend on the crappy scale at the grocery store which probably didn't work properly. Too late now. So what are we going to do? Instead of straining we will throw it all in a blender. But it still isn't a whole lot of soup and it's really thick. Adding water was denied. I suggested Vodka which was quickly denied. I still stand by that idea though. What could be better than Bloody Mary Soup? I opened the fridge and pointed at the spicy V8 in the door. We don't know how long it was in there but it was approved and added to the blender. The result? Deliciousness!

Sounds horrible right? Well, it was quite good. In the meantime the roommate had ordered a pizza and was finished by the time our meal was done. Chad forgot to oil the sheet before baking the bread pita style so that was a little torn up but for the record, 99cent bread from Traitor Joe's is very tasty. Hooray for cooking! Can't wait to try it again next year.

In completely unrelated news, Today is the birthday of Dana over at Amid Life's Crisis. Happy birthday Dana! I'm rolling out the tarp. Here is your card:



Unless you are into that sort of thing. Then may your birthday be a plethora of it.

People That Deserve a Kick - and Gay Rights and Heart Strings

Last night on my way home I had one hell of a headache thanks to demanding clients. I was extremely irritable. Some days I wonder when I will cross that line in my mind that is currently keeping me from kicking people that move too slow in the ass instead of constantly fantasizing about it. I took my three trains on my hour trip home from the office and when I emerged from underneath the city I saw a couple people blocking the sidewalk with clipboards in hand. Crap. I'm used to seeing people in my neighborhood trying to stop people for whatever the cause of the day is and usually I look so angry nobody says a word to me. I'm good at avoiding it. Somehow, this time, they got me. I think curiosity sold me out. I glanced up for just a second to see what the guy was holding. The second I lifted my head I heard. "Hi, Gotta second for Gay Rights?" Now normally whatever they say I usually just shake my head a little and keep walking but I surprised myself. Gay Rights? Sure I do! I'm sure that isn't what I said because I don't talk like that but I stopped. I spoke to the guy for a minute. He asked me if I was aware that in 31 states it is still legal to fire someone because they are gay. Uh, no. I did not know that. I'm still not sure if that number is accurate but it made me think regardless. We spoke about ENDA (The Employment Non-Discrimination Act) I read some stuff. You don't need all the details. I was given a little packet of info. They gave me a senate number and said one call counts as 1,000 votes. After I do a little more research I'll do another post with info and the phone number. If any of you care. I walked away feeling a little better. I don't know why, I didn't do anything. But the last place I expected to enjoy a conversation was right there right then. Who knew?

My co-worker just e-mailed this article to me. For those who don't feel like reading it here is the summary. Some guy in Orlando has paid to put up billboards with a picture of the burning Twin Towers from 9/11 and it reads "Please Don't Vote for a Democrat." I think this guy is a crazy bastard for posting images of the towers burning on a billboard regardless of your political standpoint. It gets worse. The billboard also has a web link to therepublicansong.com (notice I'm not linking that here). You know what you find on the site? This guy is trying to sell copies of the song he wrote about not voting for Democrats. WTF? Way to get your point across guy. Make it all about you.

Sorry for that rant.

I was tearing up a bit when I read the newest post from a recently recommended blogger. First I want to thank Cat for directing me to the blog after my last seizure post. The blog is Looky, Daddy! written by a stay at home dad with an eight year old and twin toddler daughters. I might have made up those ages. I don't really know. How old is a toddler? Anyway, he posts hilarious stories about the kids and delicious drink recipes which are not for kids. What moves me the most are the posts about his oldest daughter who was recently diagnosed with epilepsy. In todays post he wrote about how she is afraid to sleep because that is when she usually has the seizures. I think I have posted about that as well. Now I can't stop thinking about this poor little girl. If you care to read something that will not only tug on your heartstrings but quite possibly rip them out, head over there.

Pimp My Blog - Part Three

Yesterday I couldn't figure out what got me thinking about scars. I did a whole post about it and never put two and two together until Dana from Amid Life's Crisis stopped by in the comments section. I suddenly realized I'M A THIEF! Dana did a beautiful post yesterday for Half Naked Thursday. I totally forgot that is what got me thinking about it. Shame on me. At the same time I realized it's pimp my blog time and who could be a better pimp candidate than the person inspiring me to copy them? So yes, this week I'm telling you all to go visit Amid Life's Crisis where you will find a very beautiful women baring her soul and on Thursday's a little skin. Dana is very honest and open in her writing which covers a bit of everything including her son, her love life, even all her political and social views. Her strength is an inspiration. Did I sell you yet? I never said I was good at pimping. She can sell her self, just go look!

Pimp My Blog - Part Two

It's time to Pimp some bloggers! This week I'm going to recommend everyone visit R.E.H. over at Ramblings of a Madman.


I suppose this is all somewhat pointless because most people already know who he is. Yes he is that cool. R.E.H. always has something happening. He hosts the monthly Picture Fiction Challenge which is all of his own creation. I have only participated once because I don't have that kind of skill or patience but he sure does. I look forward to his story every time the end date is near. He is in the middle of writing the story of his love life "Rubicon Heart". If you have missed out on it go read it now. I believe this is what he used to get his following of female bloggers that are constantly admitting to fantasies about him in his comments section. I mentioned R.E.H. a few posts ago because one of my favorite monthly features he does should happen tomorrow. It's called "3rd" and is done on the third of the month. It's his way of getting all his commenters tied into a story challenge and it's always hilarious. I'm particularly fond because I'm bound to find new fantastic bloggers each time. Speaking of his commenters, I would like to talk about the fun to be found in that section alone. There is one special person without a blog that likes to come in and rip him to shreds. Usually they don't make a whole lot of sense but it still gets his other readers defensive. Myself included. This caused a group of three women to join up in his comments section as R.E.H.'s Angels. Myself Included!

Let's Meet the other Angels

Cinder-Single aka my blogging sister. No we don't really know each other. I don't even remember how the sister thing came about but it stuck! Single has a great blog that is always good for a smile. She is a real sweet heart and was recently trying to figure out this thing called love but I just noticed it was changed to life. The change must have come when Disney appeared on her blog and she changed her name from Single in the City. Hey, we all need to change it up sometimes. Good luck Single!

Farmer*swife is one of my favorite people to follow around the blogosphere. Not only does she have a great blog where she rambles about her obsessive compulsive cleaning habits. She also leaves hilarious comments on everyone else's blog. Especially R.E.H. I think the best moments must be the late nights when she is waiting out her husbands "snore factor" and possibly on an Ambien or Shiner high. Go over and check out her beautiful sunset pictures actually taken from her kitchen! It's always fun to see what kind of trouble her kids are getting into. They look like little angels but farmer*swife has some stories to let you know the truth behind those adorable faces.

So there you go. R.E.H. and his three hot angels. Really we are. Check them out.

What Month Is It?

It's the last day of April. Does anyone else feel like that month never happened?

I missed the last several PFC's even though I did take pictures for all of them. I'll just post them all at once and pretend it's allowed.

May is going to be so damn busy! How does that saying go? April showers bring May flowers, right? Maybe the God forsaken rain will stop and I can go outside to play.

It's a well known fact that Madman R.E.H. is a modern day Apollo and he always has all the ladies swooning.

Confused? Well, it is the last post of the month and if I can count correctly, it's my 9th sentence. I'm attempting to mess with R.E.H. in the future. Hope he doesn't change the rules on me! I'll include him on my Friday Pimp list so you can be in on the joke. He really does make the ladies swoon though. Just check out his comments section and you'll see. Oh crap, I'm already pimping.

Er, uh.... what now? I found this link for Infants Blood. Too creepy? How about a semi creepy link to horrible tattoos? Maybe you are in the market for flamingos. Whatever, I have to get back to work.

Pimp My Blog

Today I feel like starting a new Friday feature entitled PIMP MY BLOG where I will pimp out to my readers whatever particular blogger or specific posting has recently filled me to the brim with emotion... or knocked my socks off if you will. I feel that a good blog deserves some extra kudos and you all should know where to go for a good read.

The first blogger you should check out is the talented and beautiful both inside and out JO of Whatever. She recently did a post entitled "Beauties & Beasties". I thought it was fantastic and worth a read from everyone. So go read it.

also

HOT NAKED LADIES!

Go have a gander at them. Go... go before I continue! Seriously I mean it!!

The awesome and creative beyond belief Matt-Man at Bagwine Ruminitions has started the newest blogging craze with his talent for selling people. Wait, that didn't sound right. Maybe it did. He has created the highly coveted Blog-Fo-Mercials that everyone has been talking about. He posts one for a new blogger every Friday and considering his fan base he is probably booked for the rest of his life. This week the blog-for-mercial just happened to be for one of my biggest blog crushes JAY of Cynical Bastard. Everyone go see how well he can pull off the viking look.

I hope I have been an efective enabler of your internet addiction. Have a lovely weekend.